Introducing... our son Reuben

Everyone, this is our littlest son. He's coming.

Reuben Thunder Addington

I feel this calls for a celebratory soundtrack, don't you think so?

Reuben is two years old right now, living with a foster family in northern China.

He is healthy and playful.

We are so curious to know him!

Does he like hugs? What does his voice sound like?

What makes him laugh? Is he reserved or more robust? What does he like to eat?

What does he look like when he's sleeping? 

Does he like music, playing cars, building, running wild, reading books, painting? 

Who will he become as he grows?

Growing our family through adoption has been our intent since before we were married.

A home full of kids -- how many? yet to be determined -- has been our hope.

Reuben's name is quite the construction.

See if you can hang with me here!

Reu + ben

Reu sounds like a phonetic combination of R + ew, Rachel & Drew

ben, in Hebrew, means "son"

Reu = Rachel & Drew

ben = son

all together now!

Reuben = Rachel & Drew's son

Every time we say his name we restate, "You are our son."

(As I said, quite the construction...)

Of course, he presently has a Chinese name which I cannot share yet.

We will change his Chinese surname to ours, 艾 Ai, and keep his Chinese given name...

which, by the way, literally means, "Continuous Thunder"

That's why we, with Ethan's vote, chose to give him the middle name Thunder.

When is Reuben coming home?

Expected date ~ June or July 2016.

And yes, in August we are planning to move to a village on the other side of our province.

Two weeks ago we completed our two-day home study interview with a visiting social worker.

Already completed a mass of paperwork.

Five parties have contributed references.

Did twelve hours of online adoption coursework, with exams!

Now we've got about a million more legal documents and certificates to pull together.

Fees will total about $20,000 - $30,000.

We are financing these with our savings and adoption grants (hopefully many!).

Yes! So, I need to get going on grant-writing as well.

We know a few additional details about Reuben's story, but I'm not sure I want to share those.
It's his story, and as his parents we are the keepers of his story for a time.




There is no simple way to sum up how we feel about adopting Reuben.
It means a family was broken.
It means a child was separated from the ones who gave him life.
Particularly in our context, it likely means a couple was truly out of options --
but we can never know for certain, and that unknowing is also sorrowful.
It is unbearably grievous to consider the losses.

Yet, Reuben becoming our son is redemptive.
It is right.
It is good.
Reuben will be honored, loved, cherished, nurtured and empowered.
His Chinese heritage will be esteemed and preserved.
We are committed to Reuben for life and will his flourishing.
We do not think of ourselves as his rescuers.
God is our rescuer;
we alongside Reuben are God's rescued and adopted ones, true children of God.
May God be magnified.


You did change the world 
in a single day
And You bound up my heart 
forevermore I'm Yours

Light shines brightest after the dark
Now I see a different way
I am born anew
Your light brings life
Your life is mine

If you have any questions please do contact us via email or in the comments section!

counting the graces

thank you Father for

soft candlelight

homespun music and best friends laughing uncontrollably

Qingzi's good work tutoring Titus

Mike's affection and particularly his fondness for kissing

child-initiated questions and discussion about sexuality

one brick and a time, dismantling that impossible tower, using those bricks to pave a new way

I can change; you can change me

Wang Ayi's back

watching Titus run down the hill to his school with all the other children; cherishing this time, I'll miss him as he grows more independent

sun came out today

new photos of my parents

three handsome, freshly-bathed guys reading a storybook in bed

Ethan's visit to China narrated by Titus with additional comments by Michael

Titus:

My uncle came to visit to me for a pretty long time. I felt very happy! 

He came from some place in the United States but I don't know where it is. 

I got his room ready. I put the blankets over the bed and on the door I put a paper with a picture of a house and wrote on it, "Ethan's Room".

Titus:

We just came out of the church and I was looking at a book. Who was looking at a book?

Titus was looking at a book! You can see it in this picture that I'm looking at a book.

Book, book, book. I love books.

Michael:

Ethan is carrying a violin and we went to Chinese church.

Titus:

We're inside our church and my mom is giving the kids a little class.

Michael:

I don't know.

Titus:

We're eating supper at a restaurant with Liu Jia [Lydia] and a couple other people.

Michael:

I like eating.

Titus:

Right here Ethan and my dad are at the Butterfly Home fixing the lights.

Michael:

Ethan is fixing the lights at the Butterfly Home.

Titus:

Airport?  Right now we're at the airport.

We're waiting for my mom to find the right station place to put our luggage.

Michael:

I'm not gonna say this about that. There is nothing I know.

Titus:

This is when we were at -- what place is that again? A restaurant, not in Changsha.

Can you guess where this restaurant is? And then you write which place this is in, please.

[Lijiang, Yunnan province, near Tiger Leaping Gorge]

Michael:

I want to look at pictures Mommy.

Titus:

You can see right here there are people singing songs.

They even sang one of Ethan's favorite songs.

Michael:

This one is too messy. I can't even seen what is in there.

Titus:

Ethan really liked China food. He ate a lot of weird, weird, WEIRD food.

Something like beef eggs, or like, big crayfish's clobsters.

When he was eating this food he was VERY happy. 

He was talking about it a lot and he was making up stories about it.

AND he got a lot of it on the ground. And it got dirty as a pig.

Michael:

Ethan liked any kind of food. I didn't like it.

Titus:

This is when we were at a hotel at Lijiang.

This dog, you can see, is very good. And I loved this dog.

He loved me, and he loved my jacket.

He loved my jacket so much he barked for it for 100 days.

We got our jackets from Wai-gong Wai-po. They have our names on them and they're camouflage.

Michael:

I liked playing with that dog.

Titus:

I got to sleep in Ethan's room!

When I shared my room with Ethan I took a lot of blankets, and a lot of extra blankets.

We played lots of stuff like wrestling.

This is when we were drinking tea at Lijiang hotel. Ethan really liked the tea.

Titus:

We ate lunch by a little lake, and after lunch we went kayaking.

Mostly the lunch was seaweed so I didn't eat it. And a TINY bit of meat.

Michael:

Ethan loves kayak! Ethan loves kayak!

I put on a lifejacket.

Michael:

It felt cold. It was windy and the water was cold.

Everywhere on my body was wet, even my head.

Titus:

I rode in a canoe with Mommy and Daddy.

Ethan and Michael took a smaller kayak that was easier to break.

Michael was very, very cold. He got a lot of water in his boot boot boot.

Actually, he was SOAKING from head to toe! He felt really sad but he only cried a little bit.

I felt really hot and just a tiny bit cold. Michael was too cold so I couldn't share my heat with him.

Titus:

We went biking at Changsha by the river.

Titus:

Every time Ethan helped take us to school.

What is on Ethan's bike? Did you see it? It's in a bag.

It's some really yummy, yummy sweet potato chips.

Titus:

This is when we were on the mountain.

You can see in the picture something really, really cool!

It's a dam. 

I know it doesn't look like one, but it is one.

Titus:

Right here we're camping with Ethan.

We're cooking hot dogs. We're cooking everything that you could imagine.

Titus:

We went camping on the mountain behind our house and it was very fun.

My dad and Michael and me found the spot before Ethan came.

I had to get up and go to xiaoxue in the morning. Xiaoxue is elementary school.

I was crying because I was soooooo cold.

I actually went on the plane to go to Minnesota to go to school.

Titus:

In these pictures we are at Wang Ayi's house and we're eating a lot of stuff.

That morning, Ethan didn't need to eat any breakfast because there was so much stuff to eat.

In the first picture you can see in the glass cups, what is in it?

It's kiwi drink.

YUCK!

It tasted awful.

Titus:

Right here Ethan is getting lobsters [crayfish].

Could Ethan speak Chinese?

No-O!

Even though he couldn't speak Chinese, he bought all those crayfish.

Titus:

I was very scared of those little crayfish because they had claws.

They were alive, trying to come out of the big bowl.

We had to use the biggest thing in our house. Guess what that was?

The tub!

[We don't have a tub.]

When the crayfish were still alive, we dropped them into the pot.

Titus:

We are drinking yummy homemade smoothies.

There was M&Ms in there.

What did you think of having Ethan come to visit?

Titus: 

GREAT. We thought Ethan was a very good guy to come visit.

Michael: 

I like Ethan in Changsha. I like to play with him. I love Ethan in Changsha.

Why?

Titus: 

Because he was very good to play with. And he was very strong to play with. 

He was the funnest uncle. 

The end.

counting the graces

thank you Father for

your sovereignty over all of history and the future, the peace we hold because of this certainty

eager support, brotherly love of leaders at HEFC

understanding of TCK experience with Rao Weihong

open questions at family lunch -- some deep, some silly -- space for all of us to be real, heard, and known

this journey, getting to know you

Mike loving a little football (soccer) downstairs with Drew, and the motion-sensor light at the entrance to the stairwell which is the goal

parents' integrity, humility, pursuit of righteousness, value of relationships, love of Jesus -- a solid example to follow

crucial reshaping of my demeanor as kids' teacher thanks to Mindsets for the Classroom book

forgiveness is powerful

learning how to praise my kids in more meaningful ways

swingset on mountainside with my boys, cool and misty Friday evening

just being a family

your instruction to be concerned with loving people, not with trying to prove a point

Tiger Leaping Gorge with Ethan

My brother Ethan came to visit us! This was a momentous occasion people! We had to mark it with something awesome. Because Ethan is an outdoor adventurer, we planned a family trip to Tiger Leaping Gorge located in Yunnan province, not far from China's borders with Myanmar, India and Tibet. Mind almost could not believe eyes -- it was astonishing. In four days we hiked in, zig-zagged the entire length of the gorge, staying in family hostels along the route, then caught a bus back out. Sharing it with Ethan was unforgettable.

I love you!

counting the graces

thank you Father for

the kindness and care of EP, her email today

live messages with siblings and parents this morning

HEARTROOT FIRE on the gift of blackness -- brave and honest experience-telling that renders me stunned by the strength and beauty of truth and justice

sleeping in late with Drew, and all his support with housework today

you cannot honor God if you do not love your brother, you cannot love your brother if you do not honor God

you're growing gentleness in me

you're opening my heart to be more grace-giving, like yours

the help of hundreds, thousands, who have made this adoption possible

I failed, you love me

camaraderie with classmates' parents at a little party here, Friday night -- I'm reassured and heartened by their acceptance of us

Lei Yuting's mom who brought Titus home, in the rain, out of her way, and gave us homemade snacks

Lydia is hanging in there!