My Sister

Thank you, thank you, thank you.  My sister -- she is grace, so much more than I ever dreamed.

Your love is my blood

You and I

have a history before mine starts.

You and I

share a heart

since mine gave up.

and Your love is my blood,

Your love is my blood.

You remind me of  why I break my hands

You remind me of  why I move my feet

You remind me of  why I give a damn

You remind me of the  Breaking Love I need --

You remind me of  everything poured out

You remind me of  my identity

You remind me of  why I call this home

You remind me of the  Breaking Love I need.

Betony Coons art

You and I

have a history before mine starts.

You and I

share a heart

since mine gave up.

counting the graces

thank You for

our morning light together, with your recorded Story, a glass ball jar of green tea and Taiqi flute soft through the open windows

meeting a kindred God-seeker at the mountain lake, a broken up woman desperately worshipping the only god she knows, Buddha / the universe

Titus & Mike being right there to talk about it...and all kinds of deep things we've encountered recently, like the duckling who didn't develop properly

one cool afternoon with no class, two happy boys with new fishing nets, a mountain and a lake

making it safely through an intense three-day weekend of multiple big dinner gatherings, goodbye parties
faithful from the South Ch who have loved us so good

seeing Jen on the phone today, and seeing all the photos of her graduation party with both sets of parents, all our sibs there together

Mandie, for initiating that connection, and also for bringing Ethan back to MN

air conditioning, ice and popsicles

leftovers from friends for an easy weeknight dinner
joy of open hands, letting material possessions go and obtaining a fuller life instead

Our beautiful child is a grace to behold

It's a big day for our family!  Today, our dossier -- the culmination of all documents we have been preparing in stages for the past nine months -- has been submitted to the Chinese governing body which oversees adoption affairs.  

Months earlier we were "locked in" with pre-approval to adopt Reuben, and now wait for China's final approval to complete his adoption.  Paperwork remains with US Immigration, and then we will receive China's invitation to travel and bring Reuben home.  Another two or three months will pass before that day.

Last night in the dark, strolling around the campus pond, Drew and I reflected on the good timing of Reuben's homecoming.  We had hoped for June, before his third birthday on July 4th.  That would have been less than ideal for Reuben, as we are uprooting with a major move on July 10th.  He is in a rich and loving environment presently, in a temporary group foster home.  We will move house first, become grounded, and bring him into an established home life.  Thanks be to God for his wisdom in directing the course Reuben's life and ours, weaving us together in just the right season.

Reu looks somber in these photos, but we happen to know that he is a silly, smiley, active and peppy little kiddo.  

Oh my this is really happening!  I'm going to be a Mama again!  Drew is Baba to one more, Titus is the big BIG bro, and Michael isn't the youngest in this home for the first time.

Reuben is restored to family.  For the rest of his life, he's got us all: Daddy, Mommy, brothers, other siblings to come? (I think YES) grandparents, great-grandmas, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  All his!

Grace to behold, this child given -- to touch someone holy, breathe in his scent, feel his heart beat and chest rise and fall with breath in next to my own, know and delight in his ever-growing personality, weave in our selves and grow up together, to treasure and affirm all he is -- our Reuben.

counting the graces by Titus

thank you Father for

having a lot of good time at school

helping me to eat my lunch faster

getting to do a lot of jobs at home, like vacuuming my room, hanging clothes, washing dishes

my friends Zhao Zixuan, Ting Ting, Xu Ximing, Xun Junjie

 getting to wear sandals

going to Pingtan and the time is almost up so I'm really happy

getting to have a time with Waigong & Waipo at the beach

Mording Hug

"Mai Mai, Mr. Chen told me you were whimpering all morning at school.  Why were you so sad?"

"Because I did not get a mording hug."

Drew usually takes Mike to kindergarten, but since he has been traveling often this spring, Mike and I have shared many walks to school.  I like to carry him, like this, our faces close together so we can talk and smooch on the road.  Mike calls it our mording hug. After a stretch of weeks, finally Drew was reinstated as the escort and apparently, Daddy was unaware of the mording hug protocol.  "You can walk, son."  The little boy was dropped off so emotionally unfulfilled and disappointed that he cried all morning!

Daddy understands the significance of mording hug now.

Mording hug means so much to the boy that, to him, it symbolizes our love and relationship.  He found a blank note card in our house, drew this picture of us in mording hug mode, sealed and presented the envelope to me as a surprise.  

I'll never forget this. Ever.

Is it because very soon Mike will no longer be our youngest, our baby?

Is it because those mording hugs mean just as much to me too?

It is because he is turning six years-old next month?

It is because he lost his first tooth yesterday?

It is because we recently uncovered these little-Mike videos from the archives?

Mike steps on one rat.

Look, Mom. Gone. No rats!

Mike is expecting a baby, Jack baby.

Babies need food, breakfast, and ice cream.

Mike is a big, scary lion.

ROOOAAAARR!

It's probably all of those reasons.  These days, I am treasuring my Michael Isaac.

'Specially our mording hugs.

counting the graces

thank you Father for

catching up with Ethan on skype, thank you for a loving, caring brother!

Mike lost a tooth, and he's ready to be a big brother to Reuben

snuggling with Titus & Mike in the dawn light

waking to birds' song

the pounding rain last night

day of rest on a Wednesday, no place we had to go, school off for Children's Day

real food

Drew's affection

working repaired internet

time to exercise every morning, I do not take this for granted! thank you!

kids helping to put on fitted sheets and returning the mattress to its frame, put away dishes, wash dishes, pick up their room

Zhao Zixuan, our best buddy who knows where we keep the chopsticks and hot sauce in the kitchen -- he's been here for many meals

healing my body

teaching me how to abide in grace, so I can start again at any moment -- rather than stumbling in self-reliant perfectionism which is paralyzing

GRACE! I have discovered your grace in a new way, I am made new yet again, growing up, thank you

cloud of witnesses, family

Nan, Sam and Ben visiting our home, bringing their joyful spirits and affirmation, their stories as testimony to your kindness

inspiration for music this Sunday

Ps 62 & 63 this am, "for you alone my soul waits in silence" -- I abandon the course of our lives to your design! my mental space is stayed on you, what joy