Je ne sais pas Français!

In the most-fun family activity hosted by preschool yet, grandparents and parents met their kids at school on a Friday afternoon. With the teachers, we all hiked up the mountain to a secluded pavilion. The children created a mural to represent their own idea of spring. Titus painted a sailboat. 

Drew and I appreciate a chance to connect with other parents. I had a lovely time talking with a newer student's mama -- after ten years in France, she and her French husband have relocated back to Changsha with son Mo Mo. He's a nice little buddy to Titus and fluent in French as well as Chinese.

It's been cool talking with Mo Mo's daddy. 

Je ne sais pas Français!  Il ne sait pas l'anglais!  

(I don't know French! He doesn't know English!)

We communicate in Chinese. Nice guy.

Chinese as our medium for communication with random nationalities is pretty rad. Yemeni, Russian, German, Korean, Japanese, Saudi Arabian, Vietnamese, Burmese, Ghanaian, Angolan, Iraqi...

Iraqi. That reminds me. A couple years back the kids and I were played at the university track while a bunch of international students had a soccer game going in the field. Missed shot on the goal, I retrieved the ball. When I tossed it back, the athletic player asked me where I was from (all of this in Chinese). United States. And you? Iraq. He smiled kindly, handsome guy with curly hair, and made a playful little fist-fighting gesture. 战争, he said, which means, war. 

Ok. Regardless of your position on the war in Iraq... have you ever met and talked with a person from a nation with which your nation is currently at war? Have you? It was my first time. It was sobering, bizzarre, humbling, leveling, and made the whole thing feel completely misguided and ridiculous and embarrassing.

Sorry. What does one say in that moment, human-sister to human-brother?

I am really maundering. Where were we?

Right. There's French dad on the right, white shirt.

And here are children painting a spring mural.

Earlier this week I went into the classroom to help Titus teach English Time lesson. 

Wanna read over my lesson plan?

Head, shoulders, knees, toes. 

Eyes, ears, mouth, nose.

Pedagogical genius, I know.

counting the graces

thank you Father for

this week Drew had a chance to tell a funny story to a group in Chinese and it went over great

honest, open, free communication with Auntie Wang

naps next to my babies (they're not babies anymore!)

wise prayer from an understanding friend

boys enjoying carrying their own umbrellas

you woke me up naturally at 2am so I could finish the jello fruit desserts for Jon's birthday party

a green potted plant on the dining table

thankfulness level exceeds stress level!

28 Hours Round Trip

We were there and back so fast that in retrospect I wasn't sure if it even happened. Photographic evidence verifies: Yes, we did go to Guangzhou. As usual, our schedule had a bunch of contingencies, and when the afternoon suddenly opened up, Drew called at 11am, "If I can get train tickets for today would you go this afternoon?" And we did. Picked Titus up from school (got him out of his school nap bed!) and hit the bullet train. 

Titus needs his passport renewed before he turns five in September, mandating a trek to the US Consolate in Guangzhou. Well actually, the boy needs his passport renewed asap because...

TITUS IS TRAVELING TO THE UNITED STATES THIS JULY!!!  (without his Mom & Dad!)

He will fly from Changsha to Minnesota with our friend Ani, Minnesota native, Changsha current. In August he'll return to Asia with his Ye Ye, Nai Nai, Gu Gu and several other relatives including Drew's grandma Bonnie!

There was no time to spare while in Guangzhou. But there was fun. Boys took a shower in the hotel! Spent hours on the subway! Brought a big salad and huddled around the container eating it with chopsticks in the train station! Played in a park. Got caught in a torrential rainstorm. Zipped through IKEA and bought a spatula, peeler, and (super cool) wooden train set.

I'm always moved by fellow travelers who are kind to our kids. From our seats, Titus couldn't see the movie on the train so this auntie invited him to come back and sit with her. 

counting the graces

thank you Father for

I am accepted because of your sacrifice, not because of my actions

birds and dawn light to wake us at 5am

Mike telling me a long, winding story at lunch time, mostly about Lion King and a rat who lived at our address

frightening forceful thunderstorm

peculiar group of four, tea, Japanese treats and carefree conversation at the cafe

Jonathon teaching and stretching me in unconditional love and patience each day

family breakfast! each morning at 7am with oatmeal, milk, honey, tea/coffee and Bible stories

how you have arranged my mom to take care of my Grandmother as she is dying

wonderful, capable, dependable auntie to babysit our children

Titus beginning to read

Hello Sprout

Two new spring babies made their appearance in Changsha!

Here's one of the babes. Her nickname is Sprout.

About two years ago Drew and I gave a little blessing at the wedding of Sprout's daddy & mommy.

We haven't seen them but a couple times since then. They invited us to come meet their one week-old daughter.

Newborn time is a hard time, and I'm sorry to say that it has been particularly rough for this family. The young couple and baby are living with three in-laws in a three room apartment. This mom is choked with company yet socially isolated, spiritually starved at the same time. She pulled me into one of the rooms, locked the door and disclosed all her troubles. No, it's not going so great in those tight quarters with years of relational baggage piled in the corners. But hopefully after the cloud of the first six weeks lifts a little hope and sunlight will appear. Little Sprouts need sunlight (and open spaces!) to grow well.

counting the graces

thank you Father for

Jonathon -- four years of life! what a miracle!

Jonathon eating his birthday ice cream all by himself, saying "mmm"

catching up with my two favorite neighbor friends

smooth and successful trip to and back from Guangzhou

our Auntie Wang lightening my stressful day with her long stories, help with kids and prayers

being exhausted and overwhelmed but thankful at the same time

three little boys on three little bikes on the way home from school

my friend and Bstudy partner is moving from across the city right into our neighborhood!

Drew's constant support, sensitivity and affections

Drew and I being led toward the same decision

Titus expressively telling us about his playtime in the activity room at school

an opportunity to do the right thing (though it was uncomfortable) and gently confront someone

vegetable market and all its wonderful beautiful freshness

The marvel that never was

For a few months Drew and I had been separately encountering a woman and her daughter begging on the curb at various places around our district, most often at the South Gate of the mountain road.  

One day Drew and I were together, with our kids, when we ran into her again. As we talked she shyly shared, "This is the first time I've seen you and your husband together, so now I recognize you --- from four years ago, do you remember? Down at New People's Road? Your oldest son was a baby then. You bought me two hamburgers, baby food, some clothes. Actually my daughter wore that suit for a long time, two years. It was good quality. I just gave it away to someone else."

I was shocked!

The girl with her now was the baby on her breast then, March 2009.

We had just moved to China. My sense of justice was continuously upset by the poverty and apparent inaction, lack of solution, before my eyes. I responded emotionally. One drizzling day...well, here is the blog post I wrote about it four years ago:

On a windy and lightly-rainy Saturday morning, Drew, Titus and I were on our way to the grocery store. It was cold enough that we had turned back to our apartment to adorn winter hats, and I felt a bit of motherly-concern that Titus's face was well enough shielded from the wind. In these conditions, a tattered mama sat on the wet street, breastfeeding her baby girl, coffer beside. In obedience to what He told me to do, I sat down next to her, asking questions about her baby and telling her about Titus -- the conversation being as limited as my Chinese abilities. The mood was sad, and tense. She was extremely guarded. In literally ten seconds a small crowd was gathering to see the white foreigner sitting next to the beggar. I handed her 10 yuan and said goodbye. I really couldn't tell if she appreciated my company or not. Maybe she was stunned, or maybe she wished I would just drop money and go away.  

I've felt like crying in public before, but never allowed myself as most people are already staring at the tall white woman with the big nose. Today I didn't care. Drew, Titus and I walked on, and every passer-by noticed the distraught foreigner in tears. 

At the grocery store, I forgot about my list and instead bought a few baby items -- a simple pink baby suit, baby socks, a towel, rice cereal, and two jars of baby food. Then we quickly stopped to buy two chicken sandwiches for the mama. All the time I was asking, "Please, please Father let this woman feel loved! Tell her that You love her! Please provide for her needs and the needs of her baby girl! Save the baby from a life of poverty and suffering. Please Father!" 

I was relieved to find her in the same spot, and I again sat down in the puddle next to her, discreetly presenting the package. This time she seemed more relaxed, and I said, "We want to give you these things. Do you know J? He loves you. He wants us to give this to you. He loves you. We will lift you up." She said thank you several times. I put my arm around her, and briefly laid a loving hand on the baby. The crowd was forming again. I said goodbye and cried on the way home.

Our community lacks accessible and safe homeless shelters. This past January a Changsha reporter posed as a vagrant deaf man to report on why Changsha's homeless avoid the city shelter even in freezing conditions. Picked up off the street and transferred to the shelter by police, he was allegedly assaulted inside the shelter. Full English article and video documentation HERE.

We talked at length. I urged her to trust me. I gently explained different ways that we could help her out of this situation, get a stable, sustainable life for her daughter. It occurred to me that the statements I made, "My friend's company can offer you a job with a reasonable salary..." "You could even come work for me..." were mostly indistinguishable from promises of those who deceive women into becoming sex workers.

She was vague, said she was leaving to somewhere soon. I put my name and phone number in her hand. Prayed. Believed that something wonderful was about to happen. Went back to find them; they were never there.

I waited to write about this reunion because I was certain that the awesome was about the materialize, and then I'd tell you the whole awe-inspiring story.

But nothing happened.

Looks like she's gone.

And this was the story of the marvel that never was.





HERE is the entire rambling emotional blog post about her, written March 2009.

counting the graces

thank you Father for

Titus had been wanting a kite while grandparents, unaware of his desire, sent a kite that arrived with impeccable timing

three boys in a sandbox

delicious new mystery leafy green to taste, from my favorite smiling local gardener

neighbor friend with whom to share fun and stimulating conversation

Jon eating pureed apples and oatmeal for breakfast

tshirt weather

Titus adamant and specific about flax seed in his breakfast oatmeal

patches and repairs made to jeans and shirts, functionality restored -- like getting new clothes!

time dreaming and planning with Drew

whole family excitedly watching a live web stream of Uncle Ethan and team in their moonbuggy race

can't get it out of my mind how much I love living in this exact area of Changsha, exact neighborhood, exact apartment