Not joking! Sudden and expected, here we come!
It's like this...
(I'll try to explain clearly, but complex cultural and political realities may render this difficult to understand if you aren't especially familiar with Chinese society and politics.)
My neighbor and friend is pregnant with her second baby, a surprise baby, a baby that is conceived in violation of China's population control plan (the one-child policy, which may be reformed in the near future). Many in this situation would choose to abort the baby, but my neighbor is fortunate to be in a position to keep the child. The means? Read on please.
My friend is five months along and has been concealing her expanding abdomen. Her husband's employment is technically a government position, so the one-child policy is strictly enforced and consequences would be severe if his leaders were made aware of the pregnancy: forced abortion, termination of her husband's employment, or reduction in his salary or the salary of his entire work unit -- actions that we would certainly consider violations of human rights.
There are several means to evade forced abortion or economic consequences. My friend is fortunate to have an ideal option: relocating outside of China for the second half of the pregnancy and the baby's birth. The child would have foreign citizenship and -- jumping through the policy loophole -- they would face no immediate or future penalty.
It's actually rather difficult for Chinese to obtain a visa to the United States; the extensive application process concludes with a face-to-face interview in Beijing. Fortunately, my friend already completed this process last spring, as she accompanied her husband, a materials scientist, on a visiting-scholar trip in the US. Otherwise, it would be difficult or impossible for her to obtain a visa now.
At first my friend planned to stay in a Chinese maternity home in California (it's a phenomenon for Chinese women to give birth abroad so these kinds of guesthouses have sprung up in cities like Los Angeles and San Francisco). She never really felt at ease moving to a foreign country, alone, and lodging with strangers for pregnancy and childbirth.
Drew's parents thought carefully, and graciously opened their home to my friend. She accepted their kindness, and will live with them at least for the first couple months as she adjusts to life in the United States. Personally, I'm so grateful to Mom & Dad for opening their home. My friend is going to be perplexed, wonderfully perplexed by this hospitality that asks nothing in return.
Well then my friend presented
me with an offer -- If I would accompany her back to the US, she would gladly pay my airfare. She prefers to travel with a companion and saw advantages in having my presence to establish good communication and relationship with Drew's parents, especially because her English is not so hot.
Sorry, impossible, I said. Yet inwardly I was intrigued...Drew and I talked it over. My professors said it would be no problem to miss class. Incredibly, unexpectedly -- yes -- I am going to Minnesota for two weeks and Mai-Mai is coming along with me! Our dates in the States are Nov. 15 - Dec. 1st.
This is an amazing gift of impeccable timing that was entirely beyond our control and absolutely perfect. I could go on and on about how astonishing, intricate and wonderful-by-design this whole affair is!
for my friend and her family
for the baby who gets to live
for me and Mai-Mai
for mutually-missed family in Minnesota, I think particularly my parents who we haven't seen for two years, Drew's sister Mandie who has never even met Mai-Mai, my and Drew's brothers who we haven't seen for three years
and also for Drew, Jon & Titus staying in Changsha who will be fine while I'm gone
Overflowing, our cups of goodness and blessing.
counting the graces
thank you Father for
reading spot in the office -- facing the window, new futon with Mom's quilt, books all around and a mug of chai on the sidetable
big pack of notes and gifts to bring for Liao Sha
promises in Jeremiah
happily prepping supper's roast and bread with Drew at 5am, dark outside and yellow lamp glowing in the kitchen
visits with Emily & Jesse always leave our hearts feeling fuller and stronger
when a day with an impossible schedule pans out like clockwork
husband's soft and caring brown eyes; and his determination to support and empower me
class lectures are not as intimidating as they were six weeks ago
work week's over -- Friday night dinner table with a handful of favorite friends, talking - storytelling - laughing free
strumming and singing loudly with same friends in the living room, hilarious, cut-loose, and I can't think of anything more fun and fulfilling
