To be loved by someone like that

She had asked me for my mailing address months ago; I thought nothing of it. 

Then one day, a good month after my birthday had passed, a phone call. Package downstairs.  I hadn't ordered anything online; what could it be?

Two eager boys armed with scissors helped me cut open the cardboard box, and inside? Documents, tangibles, record of true friendship.  Wang Zhao had written me blue sticky notes during her long work days, "Sometimes when I'm at work, I think of something I want to share with you, and I just write it down for you, for later."  She had developed photos from times shared together.  And one night, she had sat at her desk inside the Social Welfare Institute - orphanage, her life-long residence, and penned a letter to Ruiqiu (Rachel), all the corners of her mind and heart taking shape in sturdy, curvy, clear characters.

And I had cried a little when I read it, because, I have a true friend.  Wang Zhao.

Because all the years of leaving home and being where I don't belong and breaking my brain and feeling that gut-humiliation of learning Chinese -- 

I can lay back on my bed, and in the lamplight with comfort and ease, read her letter. 

Every word.

Her pen, her words, her logic, her context, her perspective --  I know.  I identify.

I know Wang Zhao's heart.  I have a true friend.

Do you know how powerful it is to be loved by someone?

Someone who was herself abandoned as a baby, because her body wasn't quite right.  Someone who never knew a father to toss her up in the air with laughter, or tell her she was prettiest girl he ever saw.  Someone who never had a mother to hold her when she was sick, or bake her a birthday cake, or whisper, I love you my sweet baby, and plant a soft kiss on her forehead every single night as she fell asleep.

Do you know how powerful it is to be loved by someone like that?

When one who has grown in total poverty of family - opportunity - support - resources -- draws up our of her own heart the deepest of friendship, and extends it to the rich?

The rich feel they've been handed some kind of treasure they never knew they were missing.

When she, the deep well of friendship, folds 520 colored birds and puts them in a jar for you, and writes that it's a surprise birthday gift, "Think of me when you see this."

Because of her condition, her fingers are short and clumsy.  "I folded 520 birds for you," she wrote, "but not all of them fit in the jar."

There was a letter for Siyuan (Drew) too.  Generous words for his tangible help and warmth.

"I thought and thought for so long about what I could get for you, I wanted it to be special, so I decided to order custom pens."

One is engraved with our names beside Wang's Friend.

The other lists our names again, this time claimed as Wang's Family.

This reminds me so much of the poor widow who donated a penny, and Jesus praised her for her generosity that exceeded the big dollar gifts of others.  They all gave out of their wealth, Jesus stated, but she gave out of her poverty.  

The great gift here is not that we have loved Wang Zhao.  With all the riches of love and resources that have been poured over Drew and myself from birth, we haven't yet met the minimum -- to whomever much is given, of him much will be required.

The marvel that will break me in the best way every time I think on it is that, out of her total poverty of family, her complete absence of resources, Wang Zhao has loved us.

counting the graces

thank you Father for

watching via skype as my brother and his beloved surprised my parents with a visit & birthday party!

Drew is home from Sydney, Australia as of the early morning hours -- 

I slept half the night in the comfort of his embrace, Titus played legos with him, Mike walked home from school with him, we all shared lunch together

M&D called, P&S want to skype, Mom sends photos and msgs, this family loves

Titus smiling big and saying, "I'm so happy!" on our sunny walk home from school

Emily and kids stayed with us yesterday night, she prioritizes relationships and I feel it when she listens and talks

toys strewn all about the house by Em's little boys, evidence of curious and playful children present

early sunrise mornings on the sunporch, squashing temptation before breakfast, setting an intention, and being filled with the Word straightaway

kids built a castle out of big paving stones

Mike reports that he had a "busy" morning at school with so many things to do, and someone had a birthday

air quality has been better this spring than last

all the wisdom of Colossians, especially to be "abounding in thanksgiving" and "you are filled"

hiking through the woods at dusk, alone, sweating a little and feeling perfectly content

TEH came to deliver her wedding invitation in person, and to pray together

reflecting, remembering our years with Jonathon -- what a treasure it was that we held when he was here, and now to know how he is cherished and nurtured

YF's recognition that she needs a Solid Rock

Fix a tombstone: Your neighbors will be gratified

The three of us stood over the stone sunk in the trail, discussing whether it had characteristics of a common rock or a cut grave stone. My argument was compelling: uniform rectangular shape, notches, located in an alley of family grave mounds.

If it was indeed a grave marker, it felt terribly improper and impious to leave it fallen face-down in the trail, every day trodden upon by mountainside hikers. 

Tomb-Sweeping Day, when families tend to ancestors' graves, had come and passed and the rock was yet unrestored. Sunk so deep in the mud, it had probably been fallen for years.

I knew it was all up to us. One Sunday afternoon I recruited a team of competent archeologists, and in between spells of rain showers, we hiked up the hill with a small shovel in our backpack.

Several hikers of all ages passed by on the trail as we hewed red dirt. Nervous about how a family of foreigners digging on the edge of a grave mound might be perceived...oh dear... I greeted each one with a warm smile and explained the propriety behind the excavation. Fortunately none misjudged us to be a band of grave diggers, rather, all approved this act of filial piety.

By the way! Just uphill from here there is an enormous old grave mound belonging to a woman that does appear to have been dug into, deep! What!!! !!! 

The fallen stone indeed marked the resting place of Grandfather Deng, interred in 1971. It's his foot stone actually, with his mound behind, that was set a little too close to the trail. Some folks have foot stones rather than head stones, or both, and I don't know why.

We brushed off the stone and rebuilt a base. Rest In Peace now, Grandfather Deng!

I posted these exact photos with a brief explanation on my WeChat (a ubiquitously used Chinese app similar to Twitter). Friends' responses were unprecedented in enthusiasm and volume. People were touched -- touched y'all -- in the depths of their hearts. Friends who had seen the post approached me and poured out gratitude. Such a surprise! That Chinese value proper homage of elders and ancestors is known, but I never anticipating this sweating a little to restore a lonely forgotten gravestone would communicate to our neighbors we understand and share your values, and we will spend our time and energy actualizing these values.

So, if you ever find yourself living in China, just find and fix an abandoned tomb. 

Your neighbors will be gratified and honored, and get all the warm, loved feels in their souls.

counting the graces

thank you Father for

emails from friends who think deeply about life and love from the heart

several varieties of green tea in the cupboard, green tea, the delight of my mornings

my dad loves my mom like crazy and he wants her birthday to be special

children in my home -- I am their mother, this is a rich and full existence

connecting with YF and WW

big yummy kumquats in season

spring downpours, thunderstorms, windstorms, cleansing the air and allowing us to keep our windows wide open

one who's been missed and away is taking steps back home, to wellness

praying with YMX

letter in the mail from Sister Marie

having a sweet little sick Michael recovering in  the comfort of Mama's bed all day long, Titus joining him to read books

Drew's done business in a few corners of this ol world and its grown his skills greatly

you've supplied the resolve to stick with habits for a well, healthy life these days as Drew's been away

WZ's astounding thoughtful surprise gift in the mail that made me feel so loved to the point of tears

Goodbye Drew

Drew is en route to Moscow this morning, returning home on April 22nd. The above photo is actually from last week's trip -- he spent the work week in Shenzhen and Guangzhou. Two weeks ago he abruptly went to Hong Kong for a few days.

After Moscow Drew will come home, then go to Saudi Arabia. This frequency of travel isn't quite typical; it just happens that April is the month of business trips. Why does he travel? Drew manages the New Business Development team for Anker, and travels to establish partnerships in emerging markets of Southeast Asia, the Middle East and Eastern Europe.

Spring colds are making the rounds in our home. I'm sick! Thankfully, while is Drew is away our family has support. Auntie Wang still helps with housework on Monday and Friday mornings. Ms. Qingzi is Titus' Chinese tutor four evenings each week. And we have loving friends who are a phone call away.

The Lord helps me. Everyday. Truly.

And so does Spiderman.

Can you pray for us in April?

Pray that Drew and I both will keep a level head, be strong, work hard, rely on God, and be joyful.

Thank you, friends.

counting the graces

thank you Father for

approval of our adoption documents from US Immigration!

this crisp bright morning awakening us

words of truth at a weak moment

bike ride after school, kids making mud "igloos" by the swan pond

cough drops, lemons, naps, yoga, tylenol, back rubs, hot showers

new starts

 husband/dad that we love and enjoy so much that we really want him to be home

chance to catch up with encouraging friends yesterday

hugs

Light and Shadow

life is full

of light and shadow

oh the joy

and oh the sorrow

oh the sorrow

yet will he bring dark to light

yet will be bring day from night

when shadows fall on us

we will not fear

we will remember

when darkness falls on us

we will not fear

we will remember

when all seems lost

when we're thrown and we're tossed

we'll remember the cost

we're resting in the shadow of the cross

lyrics by David Crowder, Shadows

counting the graces

thank you Father for

Numbers 9 -- though in many regards they did badly, as you led with a cloud, they immediately broke camp and followed close

kids love playing in the natural light of the sunporch, today with Titus' best friend, a kind kid named Zhao Zixuan

freshness and rains recently

Drew came home last night, put the boys to bed with a story, gave me a massage, said his favorite time of day is waking up in the morning in our embrace

Natalie is healed and can go home; her mother is so strong!

rejoicing because sister is eager to return home and resume school

this pinkeye is only viral so it will clear up faster

good understanding, communication and boundaries with parents

Titus and I found fresh-cut bright pink lilies in the trash, brought them home and made our dining table bright