It Snowed

On Christmas Day, On Christmas Day!

Thanks for all your thoughts! This Christmas we felt especially joyful, thankful and content!

Christmas Eve Day Drew and I had an extra special treat...we saw our new baby! At about 12 weeks, this was my first time in to the doctor, and our first ultrasound. That night we had a special dinner with our team and Foreign Affairs Officer, who is our Chinese boss at this university. If you are a salmon lover, like me, you must try this recipe which we ate that night.

Christmas Day --- We felt privileged that while the rest of the university was in class as usual, we foreign teachers got the day off! (It's in our contract.) We had a fun team brunch and then opened presents! Our family went to play outside in the warm afternoon sunshine. Our team played card games and did a little caroling for the neighbor.

Of course we got to skype with our families back in Minnesota. Oh! And a special treat...I skyped with my dear friend Amber who is living in France.


Happy New Year!

Love,

Drew, Rachel & Titus

Holiday Teaser

Darling Chirstmas pictures to come -- check back soon.

By the way, we had a wonderful Christmas! So joyful, thankful and content!

Visit from A New Pal

Titus has a new pal, LL., who came to visit for a few days. LL is 3 months older than Titus. He lives in the northern part of our province with his Grandma, while his mom works at the family-run bread shop near our house. LL's mom, a friend of mine, has been seeing her son every few months.

This living situation is not uncommon across China. Parents look for work to support the family, and the retired Grandparents care for the children. Sometimes these families are living together or close by; in other cases they are separated by many miles.


LL to Titus: "Dude, why does your family hang all the toys on this weird tree?"
Titus to LL: "Beats me dude! Let me show you how to pull this tree over!"

[Thankfully the tree has only been toppled once.]

Fabric Market

Thanks to Kanwei, our pictures are back on the blog!

Christmas in Changsha

I thought you might like to know how we've been preparing to celebrate Christmas here, where it is not a holiday, save the paper Santa head that has been hanging in this one restaurant all year long.

A couple weeks ago we had been feeling depressed, missing all the traditions of Christmas. Then, encouragement came when we got some of your Christmas cards and packages (thank you!) and a box of discarded decorations. We even have a small Christmas tree! We had stockings made at the local fabric market.

The fabric market is a group of over 100 hole-in-the-wall shops with more selection than JoAnn. We three went together to pick out our fabrics, then Drew and Titus played with a new little friend while I explained to the seamstress what a Christmas stocking is supposed to look like. Though she thought the stockings were bizarre, she did a good job. I sewed some buttons and ribbon on later, and I'm still stumped about how I could put names on the top. Any ideas? (I don't have fabric paint and I definitely won't learn embroidery.)

We have lots of parties coming up for students and colleagues -- looking forward to decorating cookies and singing carols. There's a special dinner planned for Christmas Eve (I'm making salmon) and team brunch on Christmas Day!

I have great pictures you share with you, but our new vpn is now allowing me to post them right now. (This site is blocked in China and we use something called a vpn to defy the block.)


Merry Christmas to you and yours!


with love,

the a's

Eye Color

I am still holding out hope for a brown-eyed baby Titus.

Orphans

It seemed like every time I passed a beggar on the street, especially the kids, the Father was pressing me to do something, and He wouldn't let up. I asked you to be thinking of me as I explored some effective, sustainable ways of helping our fellow man in this demographic.

Titus and I have begun working with orphans in Changsha. There's another expat org here that has receiving a bunch of kids to young adults, coming out of the gov'ts orphanage, for whom they have exclusive care. All of the kids are disabled. They've been abandoned by their families. This org is graciously allowing me to participate in a couple of their projects, a couple times per week.

One of the projects is a bright, colorful, and clean facility for higher-functioning individuals. Teens and young adults learn a trade, like jewelry-making, embroidery, or card-making. Their work is then sold. They are able to live semi-independently. I hear that the government is shocked and impressed to observe that these individuals are able to contribute to society. Under the government's system, they would be considered invalids. This facility also has housing for younger kids, many who are blind, and brilliant therapy rooms. You would be impressed at the quality of care and therapy! You would love the residents, too -- warm and friendly.

Second project is basically an orphanage for lower-functioning youngsters. Most of these are confined to bed or a seat. They also have great facilities and special therapy. My role here is to exposed these kids to different sensory experiences, get to know them, make them feel loved. The boys and girls really enjoy our singing and guitar music, or watching baby Titus run around. Would you believe that this place is located two bus stops (5 minutes) from our campus gate? Of all the places in Changsha...it's unbelievably close.

Third project, briefly, is a center that aims to prevent abandonment by supporting families with disabled children. They provide training, support and classes for kids/parents who are at risk for abandonment. They asked me to paint a mural on the wall. I'm doing kites.



Thanks again for uplifting me. I feel that our asking has been answered!

Rachel

Addendum to Thanksgiving

You remember I said that we led the kids' music on T-day -- I had to share these pics with you, I think they're great.

Eating Mashed Potatoes with Chopsticks

Though we missed our families, it felt like a real Thanksgiving in Changsha.

Thursday night we had a traditional dinner for eighteen students plus our six teammates. These students were invited because they are currently or have in the past studied the Word with one of us. All except a couple are brothers/sisters. I said it was traditional...the food was...the cultery, not so much. We ate with chopsticks and 4" saucers, Chinese style. Here's a couple shots of the dinner party in our apartment.




On Friday we did last-minute cleaning and preparations for the big weekend event. Friday night our guests arrived from out of town -- another couple, they work for the same company as us, and their 4 month old boy. Saturday noon we had a major feast in the meeting room of our apartment complex. I guess there were forty or fifty people, lots of kids. We had turkey! Rachel made an apple-date-walnut salad and a California Medley casserole. In the evening there was a special service -- Rachel prepared the children's music and activities, and lead the music for the adults. Drew took care of Titus and lead the clean-up! Next year we will probably not sign up to do so much. It was kind of stressful.

After a group breakfast on Sunday morning, our out of town guests headed back to their city. And we rested!



Hope you had a great Thanksgiving too.

Rachel & Drew

Remember, Criticism = Love

Titus' friend JJ wears split-bottom pants. All six layers of pants (yes, six) are cut open so he can pee/poop at will. On really cold days JJ wears this thermal wrap-around skirt, to protect his exposed parts from getting too drafty.


Titus: age 14 months.
JJ: age 23 months.
Sometimes JJ uses Titus as a punching bag, but they're still best friends.


Lou and son.


In my last post I mentioned that Chinese people like to be together. It's simple: Chinese culture = collectivistic; American culture = individualistic. Not only do Chinese want to share experiences, they want to share in decision making. That is why I get all kinds of childcare advice from from friends and complete strangers. As a person who was enculturated in an individualistic society, I find lots of culture conflict when I hear remarks like this, usually accompanied with a scowl and a disapproving tone:

"You're feeding him garbage food."
"He has a fever. Open the windows."
"You should give him medicine now."
"Whoa. He is wearing too little clothing!"
"His clothes are too few. He will get sick."
"Is your baby cold? He must be cold."
"He's very cold!"
"Don't have him wear a hat."
"You're pregnant. You don't want to go to Chinese class. You'll get sick."
"You must wear a face mask on the bus or in the supermarket. You might get H1N1."
"Don't you have any pants thicker than this for him?"
"Don't use diapers. It's a bad."
"Your diaper method is not too good."
"He doesn't like to wear that diaper, don't use it."
"Put medicine on that mosquito bite."
"This baby carrier is bad. Your baby is hot and uncomfortable."
"His socks are too tight."
"His shoes are too big."
"That snack is too dry. He can't eat it."
"Your baby sleeps too much."


Can you imagine, in America, your family members or complete strangers saying this stuff to you? How would you feel after a day of this? We would say "Hey. I'M the parent. Mind your own business." In China you don't mind your own business. WE decide together. We take criticism NOT as criticism, but loving concern.

In terms of child-rearing, there are some wonderful positives about this collectivistic culture that we enjoy immensely! Unlike the US, people usually don't have their own houses, cars, yards, or even their own siblings, here in China. They can't isolate like we Americans might...they love to be together, and they love for their children to be together. People love kids. Everybody calls little ones "Small Friend" or "Little Brother/Little Sister". We call our elders "Uncle/Aunt." People spontaneously congregate in public areas so their little ones can play together. Titus never comes home empty-handed; every time we're out he's given oranges, crackers, cookies, grapes, sweet potatoes, potatoes, fried bread, etc. When we go to restaurants, the waitresses make friends with Titus and play with him or hold him while we're eating. Strangers let strangers hold and play with their little ones. Chinese people love kids!

So anyway, the pictures are of Titus' friend JJ, and my friend Lou who is especially kind and particularly critical of me. I mean loving. They're always coming over to our house, unannounced, to play. Which is cool. One day Lou & JJ came over, Titus was still napping, Lou didn't even ask me -- she just went in and got him up from his nap.

Rachel

River Walk ... Again

Fred --- our friend and colleague, invited us to the riverside to experience some culture. The weather was lovely on this Sunday afternoon.


Chinese-character Calligraphy is a respected artform. A father and daughter were practicing their beautiful strokes on the sidewalk, using water and a sponge on a stick to write. This is actually a common way to practice calligraphy in parks. Being students of written Chinese ourselves, our jaws dropped at the precision of their writing!



The water you see here is only half of the river. The shore over there is just a long island -- Orange Island -- in the middle of the river. A big bust of Mao Zedong is under construction at the island's southern tip. Mao used to swim to the island when he was a primary student here.


Chinese want to be together. Down by the river on a nice day there's tons of people sitting around drinking tea, smoking, playing Chinese checkers or mah jong, watching the boats and the performers. There's lone erhu (stringed instrument) players, a couple erhus with an old guy singing, dancers, whole bands, and Peking Opera. According to Fred the performers love their traditional arts, that's why they do all this for free in the park.






And here's a shot from the bus ride home...


lots of love,

d + r + t + b

Favorites

These are our two favorite pictures from the week.

Do you remember Grandma Ma? She's my Muslim friend. Titus plays with her granddaughter. I feel like our relationship is so so so good right now, isn't that great?

Second picture: here we are reading Titus' favorite book, favorite because it has flaps and sounds.

The Josiah Fork

Just this week I could not find warm mittens for Titus. I was hoping for another pair of long underware. Drew's black socks have holes in the toes. Our cousin Karin, not knowing this, sent us a package from Korea containing warm kid mittens, ladies' leggings, and men's black socks!

Lots of expats have come and gone from Changsha. There is one family in particular that has blessed us though they don't know it. We'll call them the "R" family. The Rs were with our company and lived in our exact apartment three years ago with their two small boys. They left a positive legacy on this campus; we often meet people who were their friends. We get to build on the good foundation which the Rs laid.

The Rs left stuff, too. My kitchen has more stuff than I ever dreamed I'd have --- baking pans, boiling pot, saucepan, spatula, strainer, apple corer, paring knives. Last spring we inherited a box of boy clothes, passed from the Rs to another family to us. Titus wears these clothes everyday; it saved us tons of money and shopping time!

This week at dinner we were wishing for a small fork for Titus to use. Drew went down the hall to our team's office, where the left-behind stuff is stored, and found The Josiah Fork. It's a baby fork with "Josiah" printed on the plastic handle. Josiah is the R's oldest son, so we've heard. So Titus is eating with Josiah's fork and wearing his old clothes, though we've never met him and have no way to thank him!

The Josiah Fork symbolizes how our needs and wants have been provided for here in Changsha.

Can't Keep Good News A Secret

We just found out that I'm pregnant!

Titus, I'm sure, will be thrilled to have a little sibling arriving in mid July. We are so thankful for the timing -- it's perfect. We'll be in the US for much of the summer, so hopefully I can give birth at Woodwinds Hospital in Woodbury, MN, the best place for maternity care in the world, I think. I'm about 4 - 5 weeks along and feeling quite well, though a little tired. When I was pregnant with Titus it was a breeze --- a little bit of nausea when Drew was frying ground pork, but that's about it. The Father was extremely generous to me. Though I feel quite unworthy, I am Asking for another blessed 40 weeks of pregnancy.

Drew is hoping for multiples. He loved growing up with triplet brothers and another older brother all packed into three years. Lots of playmates. A whole basketball team, in fact. I can't say that I have the same hopes as my husband. :)

I think it is a little unusual to announce a pregnancy so soon. There's different reasons why people wait, but a big one seems to be the high risk of miscarriage in the first trimester. We figure, if we miscarried we'd be telling you anyway because we would need your support. I simply can't keep good news a secret.

with love,

Drew, Rachel
Titus & Michael/Ruby


There you go, now you know what we plan to name our babe. :)
And by the way, Titus's eye is completely healed.

Nasty Puffy Eye

Ugh! Doesn't it look painful? Poor little Titus woke up with his eye swollen shut this morning. We think it's a mosquito bite. Or a spider? We called Grandma Louise to get some medical advice. No improvement as of tonight, but Titus has been happy all day. It doesn't seem to phase him, only being able to see out of one eye.