Ahhhhh!

Scroll down. Pictures from December are here.

Big Brother's gonna sit on me!

What's new with Titus & Mike?

After being declared potty-trained, Titus is back in full time diapers. Hypothesis: He is dismayed about wearing four layers of pants (cold apartment), or we pushed him to hard for perfection and he pushed back. Try again later.

Titus' personality is emerging. Telling scenarios:

1. Climbs up on a two-foot stool. Says "jump!" and jumps upwards, then down. Doesn't make a clean landing and face-plants on the nose. Ouch. Some crying, hug and kiss on nose. Says "again" and climbs back up. Titus is not cautious and he's a thrill-seeker. (But he is afraid of a toy lizard that grandparents sent in the mail.)

2. Watching a movie clip about a boat, sitting on a little red chair. Michael wheels over in his walker and starts messing with Titus' chair. After repeating "Mai-Mai, no!" Titus whacks him on the arm. Mom will not have it. Movie over as consequence, short fit thrown. Then, as instructed, Titus says "Sorry Mai-Mai" and gives him a hug and kiss on the arm. "You can't watch the movie because you hit your brother." Titus, with look of solemnity, nods his head, "K. K." Titus is teachable.

As for Mikey boy, he has two teeth! They emerged right around Christmas Day, and are located on the bottom front. Michael gets around the house in his walker. He has a will to wheel into Titus' room to grab for any accessible toys. But Mike probably won't be rolling over or sitting up anytime soon because he wears two fuzzy body suits + two sweater tops + thick overalls, which inhibit movement. Michael is happy and easy-going. He gets lots of love and attention from our neighbors, friends and random whoevers.

Migrant Worker Moms

This shy girl is about the same age as me and her son is a month younger than Titus. She is a migrant worker, having moved from the countryside to the city in order to make more money. She sells homemade snacks on the street outside our university. I don't know if she has any other kind of job here. Her son will remain in the countryside hometown, raised by his grandparents. Twice a year the mom and son will have a visit. As for the girl's husband, he is working in Guangzhou.

I have three girlfriends who are in an identical situation: countryside girl, had a baby boy before age 22, moved to the city for work, baby remains in the countryside raised by grandparents, they see each other twice a year, husband is also a migrant worker in a different city far away.

Rachel Addington, you are filthy rich being able to live together with your two little boys and your husband.

A Wedding

Recently I've been trudging blindfolded through a murky pool of cultural clumsiness, sometimes stumbling but recovering, other times face-planting in the muck. Mud is flying; people are getting hurt. It's the life of an outsider trying to live well in a place she doesn't belong. I take one step forward then one step back. Thankfully, Chinese are gracious to tactless foreigners like me.

Today Drew and I took one step forward! Our friends asked us to deliver a 3-minute speech (of of course in Chinese) at their wedding, which we did with pleasure, using some Proverbs as the substance.

From the picture above, you might observe a couple things about Chinese weddings: Western dress is en vogue, and pictures are taken before the big day. This wedding was particularly interesting because it represented a believer's union, taking place in a church. As the bride was escorted down the aisle by her father, I thought, this is the first generation in 4,000 years of Chinese history to have such a ceremony. A generation ago, the bride's mother probably didn't have a wedding-ritual proper as China was undergoing a phenomenal break from traditions. Two generations ago, the bride's grandmother certainly wore red, and was toted to her husband's home via sedan chair in the midst of an elaborate wedding ritual. Therefore, today we witnessed a dynamic shift occurring in Chinese culture as this couple was married in a Western-style ceremony.

Sweet Potatoes

Mike tried out his first taste of something other than breast milk: sweet potato.

As with Titus, I'm planning to make all the baby fruits and veggies. 'Cept this time I shall be making the rice cereal too. Turns out that it's actually not so difficult to make your own baby porridge from brown rice, oatmeal or barley. Good thing, because China's supermarket shelves don't carry good quality baby rice cereals -- they have sugar and seem so artificial. This is probably because only a small margin of Chinese yuppies are feeding their kids processed rice cereals. My observation is that the vast majority of families have a granny who is making steamed egg yolks, rice porridge, tofu, bananas and sweet potatoes for her grandkid.

And here's a snowsuit photo, as a bonus!

Chinese New Year will inaugurate the Year of the Rabbit, so ugly little bunnies are beginning to show up on all kids of things, hence the hat.

Extended Family Living Structure

Traditionally, Chinese adhere to a patrilineal descent pattern and an extended family living structure. We visited a neighborhood family for lunch and I was impressed by how many family members reside in the same apartment. After asking a few questions, this is my best conjecture as to who lives here. We'll designate three month-old Duo Duo as the ego.

• ego: Duo Duo
• mother
• father
• maternal grandmother
• maternal grandfather
• paternal grandmother (it appears that paternal grandfather is deceased)

and possibly:

• paternal uncle
• paternal uncle's wife
• paternal cousin (six years old)

maternal grandmother prepared the food

six year-old cousin's desk and drawings in the family room,

maternal grandmother cooking a fish

a giant poster of China's greats on the wall: Zhou Enlai, Liu Shaoqi, Mao Zedong

Duo Duo cried when held by his maternal grandfather, and longed for the comfort of his paternal grandmother's arms

unfortunately for Duo Duo, paternal grandmother was busy with another baby

I You

Titus isn't forming many sentences. He does string together a verb and an object or a subject and a verb occasionally, such as 洗手 (wash hands) or 妈妈抱 (mommy hold). I've been trying to teach him "I love you"/ 我爱你。 In this case he is producing the subject and the object, but not the verb, so he says "I you." Actually he usually says "I you. you you you!" He's also confused because the pronunciation for "love" in Chinese （爱）is quite similar to the word "I" in English.

As for Michael, he says "I You" in his own way. When playing with his dad, he has big eager eyes, as if entirely beguiled by his pops. When he's nursing he stops suddenly to look up and tell me something important and thoughtful, then back to the meal. He smiles at Titus and tries to follow him around the house. He erupts with giggles when big brother tickles him. Michael is such a darling!

This is what our boys looked like today, December 8th, 2010.

English Teachers

Chicken, Shock Factor, Thanksgiving

Striving to increase the popularity of Chinese Neighbors, I hope this image may draw some attention from the shock factor. Except I know that my country-girl mother won't bat an eye, since she is rather adept at 'cuttin-up-chickn'.

We eat one of these guys every other week. I buy them frozen, with the feet tucked neatly inside the carcass. Unthaw, chop off head and feet, rub with spices and roast for an hour. Leftover pieces and bones are boiled to make chicken stock.

Seven little chickens got roasted in our toaster oven for Thanksgiving. Our group of twenty had a nice spread, and in addition to the meat, the Addingtons contributed a california medley casserole and a green bean casserole (homemade cream of mushroom soup, homemade french fried onions). Nice holiday, all in all.

The superior part of the holiday was hearing a few friends and students say that they are thankful for my friendship. Some servants work hard for no thanks. In the past two years, I have consistently sensed that China appreciates me on many levels. "You're welcome, China! I love you!"

p.s. I better mention that this picture is swiped from a friend's blog. I need to charge my camera.

It's Good Work

Rachel and I count ourselves privileged to join in good work with our neighbors. We are thankful and encouraged to join the one who is giving the growth!

mentoring group: The guys continue to grow together as we meet weekly for lifting, accountability and study. Recently, we had some additional unexpected encouragement from a like-minded South African engineer that happened to be installing some new equipment at our university. Also, we have been working on leadership skills and sharing with other students.

follow-up study: A girls' follow-up study is continuing from last semester. It's led by a young but mature Chinese girl. Rachel helps by hosting and playing guitar.

seeker studies: This week three new seeker studies kicked off. Two are being led by the guys in the mentoring group and one is being led by another female student. All the groups are being done in Chinese.

english corner: Our team helps facilitate and lead small group discussions at an English corner at the local national Body. It continues to be a great place to invite students for deeper conversations. We love supporting the national Body.

more english corners: Every week, our team hosts two English corners for students. We aim to draw out life's deeper questions by watching thought-provoking media and discussing it.

Students' Self-Introductions

Do you have an idea of what Chinese university students are like?

This week our freshmen composed oral self-introductions. I don't think the students will mind if I share a few with you, but I have changed names and place names nonetheless.

Good afternoon, everyone. Let me introduce myself. My English name's Anna, and I study in Changsha University of Science and Technology. I want to be a teacher. In fact, I was a shy girl and I'm not confident. I want to visit Norway and I love it very much. Also I very like listen to music and watch movies. I want to make friends with everyone. That's all. Thanks.

I'm Jay. I'm 21. So I'm very old in the class. I like street dancing. Dancing is everything in my life.

Hello, everyone. My name is Yu Tang and my English name is Belle. I am a optimistic and kind-heart girl. I like reading and playing badminton. What's more, I like English very much. My dream is to become a business translater in the future. So at that time I will be able to take good care of my parents and pay them back. Let's get along well with each other and make progress together.

My name is Tanya. I am from HuNan ShenYong. I like playing computer games and sleeping. I can I could spent a week to play computer or sleep and not go to outdoors. I think my habit is very bad. because it's not active. and it's hamful to my health. I am a homesick people. I miss my parents very much. So I hope I will have a job in my hometown staying with my parents forever.

Hello everybody. My name's Dustin an outgoing boy from Hongying (Hunan province). I'm a Happy traveler. The most interesting thing is that I'm wearing a T-shirt which logo is Black-Cat-Police (a Chinese cartoon character) go to Disneyland and take a lot of photoes. Also, I'm a crazy fan or Jolin Tsai (a very popular female singer from Tanwan). I hope I can get along will with everyone.

My name is Jennifer. I love listening to music. And I love singing very much. My favorite singer is Beyonce. I think she is so brilliant that even Lady GaGa and Rhianna are her huge fans. Last but not least, hope you have a good day.

Boys' Photo Reel

Here are the promised 42 pictures.

(click on the slideshow for fullscreen)

Observations on the Eldest Child

Titus, or Taide (泰德) as he is often called, is usually a charming 26 month-old. Some of his unique qualities include:

1. Persistent concern for guests at the dinner table.

He will not rest until everyone has food on their plate. If someone's plate is empty, Titus feels responsible for serving that person. I did not say that the service is tidy.

2. Bilingualism.

I am surprised at how much Titus comprehends in Chinese and English. We recently read a children's picture book. I quizzed him, "Where is the ___?" in Chinese, for every noun in the pictures. 100% correct. Then again in English. 100% correct. Granted, it was a 6-page board book.

3. Whining all the day long.

Today he was wonderful. But some days I wonder if this indefatigable mewling indicates that something is wrong with the kid? Or is this normal? Help.

4. Grandparent-mania.

Some kids get hooked on Disney, Legos, Thomas the Train, Tickle-Me-Elmo, et al. Titus is fixated on Wai-Gong, Wai-Po, Ye-Ye and Nai-Nai.

5. Kisses as apologies.

Titus whacks Mom on the head with a book; kiss ensues. Titus steals toy from friend, who begins crying; kiss ensues. Titus spins bucket around the living room like a wrecking ball, battering the furniture; kisses on dents and dings ensues. (By the way, Titus will kiss on command, even when bid to kiss strangers, and yes we do that when befitting.)

Observations on the Second Child

Mikey's Chinese name is yet undetermined at four months of age, but he is affectionately known as Mai-Mai (麦麦). About Baby:

1. Please stay this mild forever.

I recall a time when I thought babies were hard to care for...did I really think that once? I heard that some babies are difficult. Not this one. He is like his father: feed me, hug me, let me sleep and I'm happy.

2. Smiling, Laughing.

At this stage in life Mike is particularity keen on having his cheeks and lips tickled by his own toes, accompanied by some high-pitched baby talk. Laughter eruption.

3. Teething?

I used to wonder why baby outfits often come with a matching bib. Now I know, it's for drool-meisters like Michael. Could this, paired with fussing, foretell the appearance of a tooth?

4. Grabbing for toys.

Mike has reached a developmental stage where he is amused to sit and grab for whatever object is placed within reach, followed by tasting the object.

5. The life of the second-born.

Compared with first-born, he is picked up less quickly when fussing. His diaper is changed less immediately. He is bathed about 90% less than first-born was. Mozart, tummy-time, reading, baby massage and other essential activities also wane for #2. But he is well-loved, yes, we cherish our handsome, dark-eyed, hairy Michael.

Some Things Are Just Wonderful

1. Lately, a friend or a few students have been cooking for us about once a week. They don't have their own kitchens, so they are happy to use ours. We are happy to eat their food.

3. Titus, Mike and I ate in the school cafeteria, with our friend Qiufen, for the first time. Picture a multi-level college dining facility filled with hundreds of Chinese students. And us.

4. Titus & Mike have freshman girl babysitters every Monday when I'm at Chinese class. When I came home last week, my friend was also here waiting for me. She has a 6 month-old baby. She said "Michael was hungry, so I tried to nurse him. But he wouldn't take my milk." I'm like, "Yah, it was probably too spicy." (Our area is known for spicy food.) Call it a collectivistic culture -- trying to nurse another's baby, without the mother's knowledge, and we're not even that good of friends...I love it!

2. Our girls' study is phenomenal. I feel that I am a part of something amazing. Last night we learned a praise song in Chinese; it was beautiful.

Chapters in Life, in China

Portia is a good friend; she was our teammate almost two years ago as we were studying Chinese here in Changsha. She is now back in Hengyang, a smaller city just south of Changsha, where she is teaching English at a university.

Not only is Portia an observant and reflective person, she is also a very good writer. So if you're looking to understand life-in-China (and our life) more, you must read her blog as well. This week in particular, she has chronicled her experience at a Hengyang orphanage -- an experience similar to ours in Changsha.

Check out Portia's blog, Chapters in Life.

Sunday Morning

One of the most serene and renewing times of the week.

Openhanded

We send snail-mail newsletters every couple months. If you would like to receive those let me know. Here is a portion of our November letter.

China has changed our perspective on “stuff”. As you might guess, Chinese people have considerably less junk than Americans. We have learned to live with less as well. We don’t own a home, any appliances, furniture, or a vehicle. (Chinese apartments include basic furnishings in the rent.) My clothes fit into a two-foot-wide wardrobe. Our apartment doesn’t have any closets…can you imagine? No junk storage! Everything that we possess could be laid in a pile on the living room floor. It’s not much.

Am I bragging about our lifestyle? Not at all. I’m just saying that we like this way of living; it feels free. If I ever start accumulating stuff, please remind me that I don’t need it.

Part of the reason that we feel compelled to live with less is because we have seen more poverty. How can I buy my kids more toys when our little buddies at the orphanage have no toys at all? How can I buy expensive beef and cheese when on the streets of Changsha sit hungry beggars? Drew reminds me, “Rach, the more money we spend on ourselves, the less we can spend on others.”

Have you heard this story? I’ll paraphrase from Luke 18. A rich guy asks, “Good Teacher, what should I do to inherit eternal life?” Teacher says, “Have you kept the commandments?” Rich guy says yep. Teacher says, “Great. You’re still lacking. Sell everything you have and give the money to the poor. Then come follow me.” Rich guy is depressed. Teacher says, “How difficult it is for the rich to follow me! It’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle.”

This passage really clicks with me. Think about it – in India, Africa, SE Asia, North America...what groups of people are moved to follow the Good Teacher? The poor and oppressed. Why? They know their physical and spiritual poverty. They are dependent and ready to accept a gracious offer for life. Have you ever heard of a people movement among the rich? The rich foolishly mistake their possessions for security, and perceive no need for the Good Teacher.

Another example, from Luke 8: “The seeds that fell among the thorns represent those who hear the message, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the cares, riches and pleasures of this life. And so they never grow into maturity.”

My point: Wealth is a hindrance. We haven’t arrived yet, but China is teaching us to throw that hindrance off, live with less, and be more openhanded.

Jia-Jia You Are Welcome Here

Jia-Jia followed us home one day last spring.

This week she showed up at our door again, wanting to watch TV or look at pictures on the computer as usual. I don't know much about her, other than that her mother sells steamed corn at our university's gate. She is ten years old, a little dishonest towards me, and loves the boys. She is most welcome at our house.

JJ: Where does Titus sleep?
me: On the floor.
JJ: EEE! Really? He's not afraid?
me: Afraid of what?
JJ: Rats!
me: Haha. No. His room doesn't have any rats. .... Does yours?
JJ: [nods yes]

Thinking about Adoption

I have been dreaming about adopting children for...15 years? When I was a kid I asked my parents to bring another sibling into our family. Now I envision bringing children into my & Drew's family.

Why? Compassion for orphans. Compulsion to obey the Word. Giving Life where the thief had come to steal, kill and destroy.

And because we've personally experienced the miracle of being adopted into Abba's Family.



I was captivated by this PBS documentary following the adoption of eight year-old Sui Yong of Guangzhou, China, into the Sardowsky family of Long Island, New York. Yes, I was especially interested because the Sardowskys are similar to what I imagine the Addingtons becoming: Two biological older sons, and two younger Chinese daughters.

Drew & I have no idea what good plans Abba has for us. Definitely have no clue how we could afford it. And consider the potential for an identity crisis: "I'm ethnically Chinese, born in China, abandoned at age two, adopted by foreigners living in China, raised in China but in an American home, my first language was Chinese but now it's English, I have American citizenship but I've only visited America...I can't tell you if I'm American, Chinese, both or neither..."



Anyway, if you're curious about adopting from China, this one-hour documentary is fascinating. (Especially recommending it to Wai-gong and Wai-po.)

Notes: From the perspective of a Cross-cultural Studies major / Chinese-culture sympathizer, there are some cultural oversights which annoyed me.

1. Sui Yong is eight years old and speaks no English. Her new mother knows like two Chinese words (and pronounces them incorrectly by the way). How would you feel if you're eight, and your new, strange-looking mother shows up and she can't speak your language? And she's taking you to her country where they also don't speak your language? Terrifying! Why didn't the family make an effort to learn more Chinese, and meet Sui Yong part way? My Guess: Ugly Americans...think everyone should learn English. I understand that Sui Yong needed to learn English fast, and they didn't want to give her any crutches. But they could have eased the transition by at least learning "I love you" "Hungry?" "Thirsty?" "Toilet?"

2. It seems that Sui Yong's new mother has no understanding of a major characteristic of Chinese culture: a strong in-group vs. out-group mentality. Case in point: At the hotel, Mom can't understand "I'm an American, and you're Chinese -- Why does this matter?" If only Mom knew, for Chinese, there are two kinds of people in this world: WE Chinese and THOSE waiguoren, literally, outside-country people. Sui Yong probably thinks she might as well be adopted by a pack of wolves. Her mother is an alien, an outsider; they share nothing.


Watch the video.
http://www.pbs.org/pov/woainimommy/watch.php

Facts about adoption.
http://www.pbs.org/pov/woainimommy/adoption_fact_sheet.php



Also welcoming your reactions to this post in the 'reader responses' section.

- Rachel

Fact-Finding in Wuhan

This Tuesday I will be heading up to a city called Wuhan for a fact finding trip at Wuhan University. Part of our family's long term plan for living and working in China is to get a master's degree from a Chinese university. Not only will this take our language ability to the next level, but it will also (hopefully) provide a stable and legitimate way to live here for years to come. The process for enrollment is --like many things in China--not too clear, so I am excited and optimistic to talk with the people in charge of admissions and get the inside scoop.

Changsha is near to Wuhan. See in the Southeast, Changsha is the capital of Hunan province, in blue. Wuhan is the capital of Hubei province, in pink. Hunan means "south of the lake" and Hubei means "north of the lake". You guessed it; there is a lake on the border of these two provinces.

Wuhan University.


These three will be alone for the next two days, as I leave the house on Monday morning at 7am, and return Tuesday night at 11pm.

- Drew

Dad Is Big

Blue Period

If you're not familiar with this term "The Blue Period", it refers to a phase when Picasso's palette was turning out cool blue paintings. The subjects were usually dejected figures -- prostitutes, beggars, addicts. These images came in response to the suicide of a close friend.

This blog is also in a Blue Period. Unlike Picasso, I'm not depressed. I just think blue is calming. Although like Picasso, I would like to call attention to the downtrodden.

- Rachel

Home

Here is a little tour of our home. I always think it is nice to see where people live. It's a window into their life--an expression of their values. Take a peek.

- Drew

Party On Freshies

We want our students to know that they are welcome at our apartment. It helps to throw a class party to get them in the door. For this freshman class, all the students came except for one. I confiscated his cell phone the class before the party...texting during my class...is this why he didn't show? I must be a mean teacher. Fearsome!

This semester I (Rach) am teaching two classes, about 50 students total, four in-class hours total per week. On one campus. All freshman.

Drew is teaching eight classes, about 215 students total, 16 in-class hours total per week. On two campuses. Freshman & graduates.