The marvel that never was

For a few months Drew and I had been separately encountering a woman and her daughter begging on the curb at various places around our district, most often at the South Gate of the mountain road.  

One day Drew and I were together, with our kids, when we ran into her again. As we talked she shyly shared, "This is the first time I've seen you and your husband together, so now I recognize you --- from four years ago, do you remember? Down at New People's Road? Your oldest son was a baby then. You bought me two hamburgers, baby food, some clothes. Actually my daughter wore that suit for a long time, two years. It was good quality. I just gave it away to someone else."

I was shocked!

The girl with her now was the baby on her breast then, March 2009.

We had just moved to China. My sense of justice was continuously upset by the poverty and apparent inaction, lack of solution, before my eyes. I responded emotionally. One drizzling day...well, here is the blog post I wrote about it four years ago:

On a windy and lightly-rainy Saturday morning, Drew, Titus and I were on our way to the grocery store. It was cold enough that we had turned back to our apartment to adorn winter hats, and I felt a bit of motherly-concern that Titus's face was well enough shielded from the wind. In these conditions, a tattered mama sat on the wet street, breastfeeding her baby girl, coffer beside. In obedience to what He told me to do, I sat down next to her, asking questions about her baby and telling her about Titus -- the conversation being as limited as my Chinese abilities. The mood was sad, and tense. She was extremely guarded. In literally ten seconds a small crowd was gathering to see the white foreigner sitting next to the beggar. I handed her 10 yuan and said goodbye. I really couldn't tell if she appreciated my company or not. Maybe she was stunned, or maybe she wished I would just drop money and go away.  

I've felt like crying in public before, but never allowed myself as most people are already staring at the tall white woman with the big nose. Today I didn't care. Drew, Titus and I walked on, and every passer-by noticed the distraught foreigner in tears. 

At the grocery store, I forgot about my list and instead bought a few baby items -- a simple pink baby suit, baby socks, a towel, rice cereal, and two jars of baby food. Then we quickly stopped to buy two chicken sandwiches for the mama. All the time I was asking, "Please, please Father let this woman feel loved! Tell her that You love her! Please provide for her needs and the needs of her baby girl! Save the baby from a life of poverty and suffering. Please Father!" 

I was relieved to find her in the same spot, and I again sat down in the puddle next to her, discreetly presenting the package. This time she seemed more relaxed, and I said, "We want to give you these things. Do you know J? He loves you. He wants us to give this to you. He loves you. We will lift you up." She said thank you several times. I put my arm around her, and briefly laid a loving hand on the baby. The crowd was forming again. I said goodbye and cried on the way home.

Our community lacks accessible and safe homeless shelters. This past January a Changsha reporter posed as a vagrant deaf man to report on why Changsha's homeless avoid the city shelter even in freezing conditions. Picked up off the street and transferred to the shelter by police, he was allegedly assaulted inside the shelter. Full English article and video documentation HERE.

We talked at length. I urged her to trust me. I gently explained different ways that we could help her out of this situation, get a stable, sustainable life for her daughter. It occurred to me that the statements I made, "My friend's company can offer you a job with a reasonable salary..." "You could even come work for me..." were mostly indistinguishable from promises of those who deceive women into becoming sex workers.

She was vague, said she was leaving to somewhere soon. I put my name and phone number in her hand. Prayed. Believed that something wonderful was about to happen. Went back to find them; they were never there.

I waited to write about this reunion because I was certain that the awesome was about the materialize, and then I'd tell you the whole awe-inspiring story.

But nothing happened.

Looks like she's gone.

And this was the story of the marvel that never was.





HERE is the entire rambling emotional blog post about her, written March 2009.

counting the graces

thank you Father for

Titus had been wanting a kite while grandparents, unaware of his desire, sent a kite that arrived with impeccable timing

three boys in a sandbox

delicious new mystery leafy green to taste, from my favorite smiling local gardener

neighbor friend with whom to share fun and stimulating conversation

Jon eating pureed apples and oatmeal for breakfast

tshirt weather

Titus adamant and specific about flax seed in his breakfast oatmeal

patches and repairs made to jeans and shirts, functionality restored -- like getting new clothes!

time dreaming and planning with Drew

whole family excitedly watching a live web stream of Uncle Ethan and team in their moonbuggy race

can't get it out of my mind how much I love living in this exact area of Changsha, exact neighborhood, exact apartment