Grieving the loss of a good friend

Two nights ago we received very sad news that our friend Li had died in an accident. Li -- you've probably read about him here -- has been one of Drew's best friends and the closest uncle to the boys for the past couple years. We first met on campus, he saw me pushing a stroller full of toddler boys and vegetables, called out to me to stop, "I've seen you at church before, right?" After that, on Sunday mornings our family and Li went together as often as we could. He babysat for us -- notably, once for half a day on our anniversary last year. The house was always totally trashed after Li babysat because those boys wrestled and threw stuff and generally went wild because they were having so much fun together. Drew and Li met one evening each week to talk about life & what they had been reading recently, following the DTB schedule together. Li volunteered as a counselor in the counseling rooms at church. He came to our Saturday and Tuesday groups, and made them better with his sincere, positive, humble personality.

Li graduated with master's degree in metals science & technology this spring, and moved to Guangzhou to start his first real job. Apparently, on August 21st he fell from his work dormitory bunk bed and fatally injured his head.

The family was notified one week after his death.

They won't see his body.

There's been no autopsy report.

The family is being refused information, audience with the company, or any compensation.

Drew talked with some other friends and Li's younger brother, in his early twenties, on the phone. They are so sad. They're trying to get any sort of information, and asked us to implore an office here on campus to release names of students that also may have gone to work in this company -- to track those individuals down and ask if they know what happened.

As for our personal feelings, Drew is deeply mourning the sudden loss of a good friend. We know he's safe though, we are glad for that, and completely at peace about Li himself. God is sovereign over this event too. The kids don't exactly understand death yet, so they didn't have much emotional response, just a lot of questions. Michael's been asking, "Why is Uncle Li's mommy very sad?" Titus decided that there definitely must be phones in God's house in heaven and why can't we just call Uncle Li on those phones?

We're broken up for his family. Not only are they suffering the emotional loss of a good son and brother, they have financially lost all they invested in his education. He was their social security and retirement plan, as are most educated children in this society. On top of this, there is no sense of closure, questions of what really happened, a case of injustice.

Perhaps after things settle down a bit we will travel to visit Li's parents and brother in their hometown, rural Hunan province. There will be no funeral. How shall they grieve? Drew and I are inexperienced with bereavement in Chinese culture and feel quite at a loss as to how to be supportive to the mourning family.

Here's the last time we played with Uncle Li before he left to start his job in May.

 
Naturally, these days we are thinking of the despairing family of Li and hope you might also.
Thank you.

counting the graces

thank you Father for

you are writing Li Xin's story, and his family's story, you are good and ordain everything with purpose

weeks-old baby facial expressions -- the frowning, eyes straining to focus, little smiles, enchanted eyes

40-something year-old mother who has been a role model an encourager to me, in fifteen years I hope to be like her in many ways

der kuss our wall

Matt & Liao Sha demonstrating to this culture the value and sanctity of human life by treasuring their special-needs son