Womb is Heart

Hello baby Ina!

March 10    19 inches    6.5lbs.

Los Angeles, CA

The womb -- where our little ones grow, and for Chinese women, wherefrom springs family, happiness, significance, purpose, social identity, and sense of connectedness in the normal human life cycle. Even in an age when urban Chinese moms are educated career women, fertility is still everything. This is most of my ministry: connecting on the plane of fertility, pregnancy, birth, babies, child-rearing, health, and development, parenting with dad, creating marriage and family culture. Womb is heart.

Here is one story of ministering to a woman's heart.

Remember that my pregnant friend relocated to the US last winter, to birth her second baby?

The pregnancy exceeded the one-child limit. She was at risk for forced abortion, loss of her husband's job or salary reduction for his entire work unit as a collective punishment. Not sensationalizing. This is happening.

She herself is not morally opposed to abortion -- in fact she like a typical Chinese mom would abort a baby if found to have abnormalities in utero -- but she wanted this surprise baby to live and it was also my desire to protect the baby's life.

There are several ways to escape forced abortion or other consequences; here I am not endorsing but merely informing you of the two which are most common. 

Hide. 

One of my good friends took leave from work and hid in her house for months. Her employer, also the instrument of birth-policy enforcement, is still unaware that she has a three year-old daughter. One of the problems, however, is children born in secrecy have trouble obtaining a social identification number which is necessary for entrance to school and every other aspect of social-legal life (imagine not having a social security number or any other form of ID). Some people opt to pay a hefty fine to obtain this number, others get a sort of fake number. 

Hide, then Run. 

Relocating abroad not only protects the baby from forced abortion, being born on US soil the child is granted US citizenship. Upon returning to China question of obtaining the Chinese social security number is no longer an issue; the child has a US passport. It's a loophole. Besides, lots of Chinese have aspirations of sending their kids to the US for university, or immigrating as a family in the future, so having one in the family with US citizenship is beneficial. I'm oversimplifying but basically that's the deal.

I haven't sorted out an ethical position regarding the birth tourism phenomenon, but I know that protecting the baby's life was the right action. Throughout the secret pregnancy I was honored to be friend and confidant. By my friend's invitation, I travelled back to the US and accompanied her through the transition, tried to support her through cultural adaptation, housing and medical care options. This little effort -- promoting the welfare of the baby in her womb -- spoke right to my friend's heart. 

They'll be back in April and it's gonna be a triumphant moment holding tiny, breathing Ina.

After that, we get to watch Ina grow up and know that her coming into the world was a collective effort, and wonder at Father's love and arrangement.

counting the graces

thank you Father for

can even trust in you for ones whose lives are spiraling out of control

being accepted and able to connect at Chinese Moms' group

 capturing tadpoles

Ms. Tian, coming weekly to give our boys a fun learning time in Chinese

Matt got a job in a city where some of our encouraging and supportive family lives

Jon's so cute when trying real hard to get his pronunciation right on Brown Bear, Brown Bear, what do you see?

tiny green buds on the tall trees that reach all the way to our 6th story window

brilliant purple buds on the flowering bush downstairs

Drew has a biz trip to the US; we were praying that he'd have another one this spring so he could visit family

six mothers of Down Syndrome kids coming to visit my neighbor to encourage her, your arrangements are spectacular!