Because it's not Chinese New Year without a smoked smiling pig head.

 Friends, did you celebrate Chinese New Year?

You did? I'm happy about that.
You haven't yet?  It's not too late -- here is your chance to virtually commemorate this Year of the Sheep!

Our next-door neighbors invited us to their family's rural home in southwestern Hunan province (we are in the northeastern part of the province). You might remember that our neighbor's brother and sister-in-law have a daughter named Yuanchao who has Down Syndrome, and through our experience and connections we had given them some support in the past year. The countryside is always a fun place to visit, even more so now as it offers reprieve from toxic city air. It's a gift to be included in a family for the holidays. Most of all we wanted to spend time with dear little Yuanchao.

To the countryside!

We rode the bullet train through field and mountain.
Then their pick-up truck delivered us to their home.




Everyone in the village is descended from a common ancestor, and all have the same surname, Yang.
Their home is situated in that row of homes just beyond the white greenhouses. Tree farming is their family business, though their father was formerly a village teacher as well.





You're looking at a greenhouse for growing a certain species of mushroom.

The generations-old wood home where our neighbor was born in 1982 still stands, though abandoned.

Yuanchao, the little girl, is doing so well. She is sweet, expressive, playful, able to do many things and growing strong. We discovered that her grandfather especially loves her, her grandmother has learned to truly accept her, her daddy is totally committed to her welfare, and her mama has worked herself to exhaustion to give her the very best care. A few weeks ago Yuanchao's mother asked if we would be her godparents -- Chinese also have this concept of godparents -- saying that no others have shown as much concern for Yuanchao. We are honored.

Two years ago, the Yang family was shocked to discover that baby Yuanchao would develop differently than other children in the household. They didn't know Yuanchao had Down Syndrome until she was three months old -- because they themselves did not recognize it, and the doctors intentionally withheld disclosure, apparently because they feared a parent would commit suicide or abandon the child. That apprehension was realistic; Yuanchao's mother confessed that she was severely depressed and imagined herself holding Yuanchao and jumping off a bridge together. The anxiety, despair, shame, pressure, lack of resources and understanding are that intense. 

Hope is rising...read the last paragraph of this post if you would please!

Let the holiday preparations commence!!!!!!

Yes, that is a MONSTROUS fish from their pond.

And a smoked smiling pig head. Because...you know....it's just not Chinese New Year without a smoked smiling pig head folks!

 

Cheers! Giant portions of fat, smoked pork, braised pork, pork sausage, fish, duck, chicken, dog, deep-fried tofu, soups, taro, seaweed, cabbage, homemade waxberry wine.

An uncle challenges Drew to a mathematical drinking game.
Drew held his own in victory.
In defeat, he held his liquor.

New Year's Day we walked around the village to all the Yang relatives' homes for short visits. It's a little bit like our American Halloween tradition -- each home serves small treats like sugar cane, candy, puffed rice crackers, peanuts, oranges, pickled ginger.

Father and son bring a basket of offerings to the god of the farmland: incense, paper money, liquor, and oranges.

To tell the truth, there were instances of inner and outer conflict living with this Chinese family for several days. At particularly intense interaction I did fan my face with my hands as if hyperventilating and exclaim, "Ah! I'm not used to so much pressure! I know how to take care of my own kids!" You can always count on Rach to cause a loss of face. No, it was ok. It's good for friends to get to that point of honesty, offense and come out still friends. You know?

Partially in search of alone space, the four of us hiked around rice paddies and up the hill that had been completely burned bare after incense and firecrackers offered at the tombs caused a massive fire last year at Tomb-Sweeping Festival. 

When venerating ancestors, only you can prevent forest fires!

So I was saying, hope is rising.

Yuanchao's mom is gaining perspective. Last week she came into Changsha for a prenatal check (pregnant w/#2), and wanted to go with me to some places offering special-needs services in Changsha.

First stop, the Community Outreach Project of International China Concern, a center that works to prevent abandonment of children with special needs. Some miraculous things happened to make this visit go extra well, but I can't get into that. We met with a counselor therapist women, who was fantastic, listened well, and then told Yuanchao's mom all the things I've been a little too nervous to say outright: The biggest problem isn't the child at all, the biggest problem is that families do not accept the child. You need to fully and completely accept your daughter...
I can relate to Yuanchao's moms' internal struggle because I experienced similar feelings when we were fostering Jonathon. Good heart-to-heart.

Second stop, the orphanage. Here Yuanchao's mom saw dying abandoned children in the Butterfly Home Hospice. She saw the most severely disabled, low-functioning (is this language pc?) children in another wing. She spoke with adult orphans who had grown up in the orphanage. She saw the preschool classroom of abandoned children, half of whom are kids with Down Syndrome. She spoke with the director of this preschool, who offered pragmatic advice about toys and activities to stimulate Yuanchao's development. Through all this she realized that her daughter is faring extremely well, comparatively, and her daughter's greatest need is life-long love and acceptance of family.

Of course, for the Yang family, the essential missing piece is the answer to these questions.
Wherefrom does Yuanchao derive her inherent value? Why does she deserve love and acceptance? Why is she a blessing and not a curse? How can our family gain peace of mind about our future and hers?



Stay tuned for our next adventure in a town that only the last six months has begun to allow entrance to foreign people...

counting the graces

thank you Father for

Drew playing the fiddle tonight

sunrise getting earlier which helps me to rise earlier

words to be reckoned with in Matthew

truth, "if you're feeling abandoned here, that is a lie..."

constantly being humbled by one thing or another, language, culture, character, intelligence, ability

constructive work and discussion with teacher Wu, her good ideas and teamwork

your prompting to talk with how to, on their level, talk with the boys about the meaning of marriage 

noon-time homeschooling with Titus

Mai-Mai's help in the kitchen

rising awareness of air pollution among local Chinese, thanks to Under the Dome documentary