Surprise, Surprise, Surprise

Surprise

Have I posted this drama before?

Every time I see it tears fall because it is my true story.

I've danced with distractions, been battered by betraying punches of the very things I thought would make me ok, spun in futility.

Someone was pulling me to wholeness. I sensed the invisible pull -- I still feel it -- and I was surprised to find all oppressors and tormenters retreat, chains fall off, burdens lifted.

I love Him.


Surprise

This spring has been full of surprises and redirection.
Not buying a home but preparing to move to another town, not fostering but beginning the adoption process, and not anchoring down completely but taking another short trip to the US in June.

Unanticipated deepening, releasing, lightening.
Healing.

I called Drew yesterday afternoon, "I'm facing the worst situation, biggest problem ever in my job here, going to be working late..." Seven p.m. from the office, "Tomorrow I need to fly to the US to resolve this thing, can you pack my bags for me?" Eleven-thirty p.m., the turn of keys in the lock and moments later he quietly slips into bed.

Peace, true peace. For Drew and me. Because God knew and He knows.
It surprised me how unshaken we both were.
Rest.
Then up early, reassurance, and a flight to Boston.


Surprise

An unexpected change and an apparent miscommunication brought me to the fellowship building this Friday morning for an errand. Beautiful music led me upstairs. I was surprised to find the hall full of worshippers remembering The Suffering. I knew this is where God wanted to meet me this morning, so I ditched my other plans and was fully there as if it had been my original intent.

It was a simple thing, Stations of the Cross, readings and contemplation on the events that week in Jerusalem.

Today, I'm wondering at absolute power and the laying down of that power.
When Pilate says, why don't you speak, don't you know I have authority to kill you?, he speaks to the only one who actually has authority to give or take life.

Do you ever feel your words cannot convey the deep contemplations and wonder? Anything you manage to write seems trite? I'm at that point.

I haven't read C.S. Lewis' Surprised by Joy, and I've only read parts of N.T. Wright's Surprised by Hope, years ago, but surprise seems to be a thematic part of God's grace. Grace is a free gift, unmerited favor. If you set out to accomplish something yourself, you know what is to be obtained should you meet that goal. Free, nonobligatory gifts are unanticipated. I have found God's gifts to be this way. I might have understood that he would save my soul, but I was surprised to find that he also filled me with unexplainable peace, and gave me a family of believers on the other side of the world, and taught me to love him more than air. Things like that.

Ever been surprised by grace?

counting the graces

thank you Father for

blue skies and white clouds, green trees and grass, fuchsia flowers

eye contact with best friends

 wise woman prompting me to use principle from John 9 to share with friends

portraits of the boys, their brown eyes, smiles and unique features

playing in the woods on mountainside

the adoption dream you gave us is becoming tangible

choosing to love the one I married though we change in personality and body

patience to listen to someone who just needed to vent

my sisters