The three of us stood over the stone sunk in the trail, discussing whether it had characteristics of a common rock or a cut grave stone. My argument was compelling: uniform rectangular shape, notches, located in an alley of family grave mounds.
If it was indeed a grave marker, it felt terribly improper and impious to leave it fallen face-down in the trail, every day trodden upon by mountainside hikers.
Tomb-Sweeping Day, when families tend to ancestors' graves, had come and passed and the rock was yet unrestored. Sunk so deep in the mud, it had probably been fallen for years.
I knew it was all up to us. One Sunday afternoon I recruited a team of competent archeologists, and in between spells of rain showers, we hiked up the hill with a small shovel in our backpack.
Several hikers of all ages passed by on the trail as we hewed red dirt. Nervous about how a family of foreigners digging on the edge of a grave mound might be perceived...oh dear... I greeted each one with a warm smile and explained the propriety behind the excavation. Fortunately none misjudged us to be a band of grave diggers, rather, all approved this act of filial piety.
By the way! Just uphill from here there is an enormous old grave mound belonging to a woman that does appear to have been dug into, deep! What!!! !!!
The fallen stone indeed marked the resting place of Grandfather Deng, interred in 1971. It's his foot stone actually, with his mound behind, that was set a little too close to the trail. Some folks have foot stones rather than head stones, or both, and I don't know why.
We brushed off the stone and rebuilt a base. Rest In Peace now, Grandfather Deng!
I posted these exact photos with a brief explanation on my WeChat (a ubiquitously used Chinese app similar to Twitter). Friends' responses were unprecedented in enthusiasm and volume. People were touched -- touched y'all -- in the depths of their hearts. Friends who had seen the post approached me and poured out gratitude. Such a surprise! That Chinese value proper homage of elders and ancestors is known, but I never anticipating this sweating a little to restore a lonely forgotten gravestone would communicate to our neighbors we understand and share your values, and we will spend our time and energy actualizing these values.
So, if you ever find yourself living in China, just find and fix an abandoned tomb.
Your neighbors will be gratified and honored, and get all the warm, loved feels in their souls.
counting the graces
thank you Father for
emails from friends who think deeply about life and love from the heart
several varieties of green tea in the cupboard, green tea, the delight of my mornings
my dad loves my mom like crazy and he wants her birthday to be special
children in my home -- I am their mother, this is a rich and full existence
connecting with YF and WW
big yummy kumquats in season
spring downpours, thunderstorms, windstorms, cleansing the air and allowing us to keep our windows wide open
one who's been missed and away is taking steps back home, to wellness
praying with YMX
letter in the mail from Sister Marie
having a sweet little sick Michael recovering in the comfort of Mama's bed all day long, Titus joining him to read books
Drew's done business in a few corners of this ol world and its grown his skills greatly
you've supplied the resolve to stick with habits for a well, healthy life these days as Drew's been away
WZ's astounding thoughtful surprise gift in the mail that made me feel so loved to the point of tears
