Drew reveals all in exclusive interview with Chinese Neighbors

Today Drew is in Delhi, then to Dubai, and finally California next week. The boys and I will meet him in Minnesota on June 12th, for his brother's wedding celebrations.

Drew's job is one of the difficulties I listed -- contributing to The Hardest Year.

Tough on us, because he's away from home often. Tougher on him, because of the pressure.

However, if you consider for thirty seconds all the many means of making a living on this globe and where we fall on that disparate spectrum, Drew's work is a breeze and our home life is idyllic.

Please remind me not to be such a silly whiner.

Besides that sobering reality, many gifts of God have come through Drew's employment at Anker/Oceanwing. 

• Provision for all our expenses
• Work visa so we can live in China (not to be taken for granted!)
• Challenging projects for Drew through which his management and career skills have expanded
• Drew's also learned to cope with a greater stress load and just carry on, happy
• Been fragrance and light to co-workers, including to the executives
• Mutual support between the small handful of other like-minded co-workers
• Partnering with a co-worker and university teachers to host a forum for like-minded college students about to enter the workforce
• Supporting a co-worker through potential abortion of a baby and marriage difficulties
• As husband and wife, learning to stick together, united in purpose, serving one another, even if we are less often physically together
• And a growing appreciation for each other, more skillful in communicating, treasuring quality time
• Figuring out how to rest in God when we are tired, stressed, perplexed, separated, disappointed with circumstances
• Learning to receive with gladness God's wisdom in where he has placed us for now
• I can sympathize with other wives/mothers who have husbands in similar demanding business positions -- making our friendships deeper, exchanging wisdom and encouragement -- this has been significant

Drew's team -- one of his teams -- made their quarterly quota... so, cake.

Hey! What do you say we go find Drew at his office!

If we were biking as Drew typically does, this would be our route, over the bridge.
It takes him about 30 minutes one way.

But we are in a taxi.
Through the sub-river tunnel we need about 20-45 minutes depending on traffic.

The office is in the far greenish tower, 25th floor.

Oh hey, we found him!

Speaking with college students about life - work - faith.

It's gonna be ok Titus, we'll see Daddy again in just a couple weeks.

counting the graces

thank you Father for

thrilled and rejoicing that brother Paul found a most excellent wife, she is my friend and now my sister too

sweet goodbyes and sweeter reunions with husband

teaching moments (hours, days) with my boys, this usually means going through unpleasant conflict, but it's gonna be fruitful 

kids splashing naked in the mountain stream, below the well, on the first very hot day of summer

though you slay me, yet I will praise you, though you take from me, yet I will bless your name, though you ruin me yet I will worship

colorful supper: yellow corn, red pepper, two kinds of greens, purple potato leaves

Drew & Titus shared a father-son weekend trip to rural Western Hunan

meanwhile, Mike and I shared a mother-son weekend including the longest mountain hike we've ever done

sitting with Mike on the round boulder, he said his favorite moment of the day was sitting on that rock eating steamed buns with Mom

bedtime talk with boys about living Father's way

helping them build their lego cars, they won't ask me to help them build lego cars forever!

Joy in Air Pollution

This begins a series of redemption stories that I am so eager to share with you, it's pure JOY!

The Hardest Year has proven to be the best growing conditions; wounds, the soil out of which of fruit and blooms are emerging.

I hope these testimonies shared over the next few days will be an encouragement to you.
Thank you for reading!

And thank you so much for your kind emails and comments in response to my previous post. I know we are loved and supported. Thank you.

What if the most basic thing you took for granted every day was taken away? Could you still be be happy? Could you still step out the door each morning with a joyful song on your lips, unshakable peace in your heart?

I thought all my joy was in Jesus.

Turns out that my joy is bound to a multitude of frail places, called: Clean Air, Physical Health, Comfort, Peace of Mind, Outdoor Recreation, Ideal Childhood for My Kids, Control...

Frail places crumbled away, and joy, tethered to them, also was removed from me.



But my young children are growing up in a carcinogenic smog, and yet shall I rejoice?

For months I said no way. (I still sometimes say no!) I need Jesus PLUS clean air.

Here's the truth. Just knowing Jesus, the marvel of who he is, what he has done for us, how he loves us, trusting in his every word, resting in his promises, delighting in his presence now, eagerly anticipating our future with him -- Yes, I will rejoice in him, I will sing for joy! Nothing can steal this joy from me, stayed on the one who is eternally unchanging.



I know there remain more crumbling places to which joy has been foolishly affixed.
Lord, let's do this. Let's get rid of those until it's just you.

"I am sure that God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns." (Phil 1:6)



Father and I have shared hundreds of important conversations (arguments, tears!) because of air pollution. I would rather suffer the smog and grow to know Father more deeply, than to breathe a whole lifetime of clean air and miss all the moments with him.

He teaches me to bind all my joy, hope, happiness, and peace just to him. He gives me opportunity to trust him. He invites me to know him intimately, love him dearly, cling to him alone. Because he knows that's the only way I can ever be whole, happy, free.



I look out at the grey sky, and what do I see? His love for me.
Seriously, the toxic haze has become our little cue, our little rainbow, our wedding ring, our engraved monument -- whispered words reminding, "I love you Rachel."

counting the graces

thank you Father for

running errands around the city with kids this afternoon, they're good company

Titus on a special trip with his dad, and Mike and I have the weekend together, Mike's even sleeping in my bed!

the perfect gift for little Yuanchao

Auntie Wang's company and all the good talks when it's just the two of us

privilege of reading a tall stack of story books to Mike, books he chose

cool evening

YF calls up Auntie Wang and wants to go to group with her

heartfelt responses from people who care

The Hardest Year

Who would have guessed that our sixth year in China would be the hardest yet?

The passage of time has been required in order for me to articulate the difficulties. Submerged in anxiety, months ago, it was too close to identify clearly. Now having gained retrospective distance I know.


1.  Air pollution is oppressive.

Our toxic air has affected all aspects our lives and caused intense anxiety. Dear friends and family, I know you sympathize with us over this, but having never lived in these conditions you cannot imagine all the life implications and how oppressive it is. I can't even write about this without tears swelling in my eyes.

It is awful. It is unbearable.



2.  Drew's job is demanding.

While we are grateful for Drew's job, it has put a great deal of stress on our family. Drew is not home very much. He has little rest, zero moments of true solitude in his week. Titus and Michael sometimes cry because they feel lacking for time with their dad.



3.  Jonathon is missed.

Jon's adoption was expected, joyful, good and right. Yet, there is deep sadness from the loss of someone so intimately woven into our lives. It caused an internal emotional weariness. The hardest part is the loneliness of grieving alone, the feeling that others know not the burden -- because our extended family never had the opportunity to bond with Jonathon as we did.

One year later, Mai-Mai sometimes still says, "I want Jonathon to come back."



4.  Supporter connections have weakened.

We are grateful for and need your support. It seems that fewer and fewer folks, including our sending Body, endeavor to pray and extend a word of encouragement. I feel that our efforts to remain connected are not reciprocated. To speak candidly, in my heart I feel a little abandoned.

We just need to hear you say, "How can we pray for you? How can we encourage you?"
Please regularly assure us that you are praying, and that you care. Share what is happening in your life. It makes a great difference.




5.  US trip was hard.

One might assume that after five years in China, two full months in the US would be restorative and fortifying. In actuality it was both happy and hard. We felt strained from traveling around constantly without our own space, and socially exhausted from suddenly dropping into a world of semi-strangers. We at times felt misunderstood, pressured and lonely. We waded through interpersonal conflict and were saturated in grievous circumstances.

We experientially realized that we have lost our sense of belonging in the place that was formerly, always home. Upon returning to Changsha we anticipated relief, back in our space doing our work, but we will never fully belong here in China either. That leaves us where? Nowhere, lost between worlds. And the air pollution was insufferably toxic when we arrived back mid-January...I begged for to Jesus to come take us Home.




The Hardest Year.

What's wonderful and entirely unexpected is that the Spirit is growing gardens out of these wounds.

Blooms, in a spectrum of brilliant hues, and healthy, ripe fruits in all shapes and flavors.

Allow me to rest here. Next time Drew and I would like to tell you precisely what is growing in this garden.




You now know what pains linger in the deepest places of our hearts. If you are a person of prayer, I hope you might use this knowledge to pray for Drew, myself, Titus and Michael.

Thank you, and we really hope to hear back from you.

counting the graces

thank you Father for

all the big problems are actually minuscule when I think on who you are

the kids are playing together so harmoniously today

favorite neighbors inviting themselves over for lunch, and Titus was a good helper

you prompted me to offer cups of tea to threatening, angry men

air purifiers in the house

supper is made for the day

in the most comforting place at the end of the day: Andrew's heart

Mike snuggling up next to me as I write, with his apple, sharing a blanket

message back from SRA 

After the Downpour

Frequent torrential rain is a gift, carrying away air pollution and causing mountainside gullies to surge and swell. These woods are our favorite place in this 'ol city.

counting the graces

thank you Father for

Drew pounding out his thesis, preparing and delivering teaching, excelling at work, loving and leading us at home

reset, repent

girls and boys, four kids in our house for a weekend

time, time this afternoon to Eskimo kiss, hug, tease, and read books with my little Michael

our family mantra, "we are going to live God's way" kids, "oh yeah, I forgot"...me too

quinoa, broccoli and duck

room of souls singing hymns a cappella

Tim Keller on Lazarus, Mary & Martha

running into WL in the store

Titus in the taxi recounting the story of Fiery Furnace learned in Chinese Sunday school

Mike at the breakfast table recounting the story of Philip & the Ethiopian learned at English Sunday school

the girl we had pleaded for comes home and Home