Extended Family & Uncle Li

Recently I turned the last page of The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog, case studies in children's trauma and recovery compiled by Dr. Bruce Perry, who writes of extended family:

"The modern world has disrupted and in many cases abandoned the fundamental biological unit of human social life: the extended family. There has been so much emphasis on the breakdown of the nuclear family, but I believe that in many cases the extended family, whose dissolution has been much less discussed, is at least as important.... it can make the difference between a young couple who are able to cope and raise a healthy child and one where one or both parents becomes overwhelmed and neglectful.... For countless generations humans lived in small groups, made up of 40 to 150 people, most of whom were closely related to each other and lived communally. In the year 2000 the average size of a household was less than four, and a shocking 26% of Americans live alone.... The world we live in is now biologically disrespectful; it does not take into account many of our most basic human needs..." (Perry, 2006, p. 223)

We're removed from extended family. As with many in diaspora, Drew and I miss the child-rearing support of grandparents, aunts and uncles. Our kids have few close, trusted adults who have known them from birth and will stay near into their adulthood.

Father knows this too.

So we don't fret.

Though friends like Uncle Li could never replace extended family, this guy is a familiar, loving big buddy for our boys, a provision for our need of family. We are grateful, and the US peeps who miss us are glad too.

This summer stranger Li stopped me on the sidewalk, "Hey...I've seen you before at fellowship I think." That's how we met initially. He's a postgrad, gentle guy, humble, chill, positive, engages with the boys on their level. He single-handedly babysat our three while we went on that date. (heroic.) He lives on our campus, so every weekend we meet up and trek to fellowship. Drew and Li are working through a book together (using the Chinese edition).

Uncle Li invited us to the zoo this week. Pretty decent, we thought. Although...patrons can purchase a slab of pork and teasingly dangle it into the tigers' domain, and children may pay to hand-feed oranges to the hippo. On Lemur Island trillions of kids run wild, spoon-feeding zillions of friendly lemurs while a zookeeper, wielding bamboo rod, whacks diffident lemurs from the treetops.

counting the graces

thank you Father for

asparagus at the market! yay!
rocking mike to sleep

woman revealing her story to me

the ability to understand and speak chinese

those peculiar animals you dreamed up

nothing to fret, you know every need

skype

all our extended family members, they're treasure