Juxaposition

Today I just wanted to show you what our middle-class houses of prostitution look like, and getcha up to speed on how the last six months of visits have been going.

Since June I've entered four different establishments, two near our home and two downtown, and met fifteen women. I felt that I shouldn't continue visiting near our home, at least for the present. So now I am weekly welcomed into two places downtown and have gotten to know three women very well. They expect me the same day, same time each week and we have fun talking about our kids, fashion, hair, make-up, weather, soap operas, food, relationships, histories, cultural differences. 

One place has two women, currently. Here, it took weeks of consistent visits for us to relax and allow our personalities emerge. Another place has only one woman. She opened up immediately. They all have made me feel comfortable and welcome. I enjoy their friendship! I am still far from the inner heart, but they are happy I'm there, and I'm glad to be there too. 

I've learned that this kind of business isn't largely considered shameful or shady. The prevalent attitude is that sex is an apetite and this is an acceptable means of gratification. Watchers on the street hardly notice when I go in and out every week, as if I were patronizing a convenience store.

I've learned the stories, partial stories, of three woman. I think it's quite an honor and a privilege to have their friendship and have gained some trust.

I've learned that these women have husbands or boyfriends, children, lots of relatives.

I've learned the prices, how it works, how they talk about it.

I've seen many, many a male patron.

I've waited in the front while she goes back with him, until he leaves. Once I had my guitar along, singing quietly in the front while my friend was in the back with a customer... she said my music sounded nice. One of the most surreal and heartbreaking experiences of my life.

I've been asked by customers if I am also available.

(To which my friends are like, No, you creep!)

I've witnessed men come in, look my friends up and down, sneer, "Isn't there anyone else?" Reject, spin around without a word and go down a few doors to the next place.

I've learned that, reportedly, some customers are regulars, some abide by the standards, others steal stuff, assault, ask for things that the women won't do and then refuse to pay.

I've been given innumerable cups of tea, pieces of fruit, warmth and hospitality.

I've been given grace when my Chinese makes me sound like a toddler.

There have been many happy moments, I'll share my favorite in another post.

They have treated our entire family to supper twice! Drew connects well with one woman's husband. They are all very kind to our kids and give them milk and cookies.

All these "I've, I've I've" This is sounding very egocentric here and it's not about me, it's about them and it's not very good writing, just unsure how to neatly unpack for you all that's been seen and experienced in the past sixth months.

Below are some facades. 

They read: teahouse, leisure, massage, foot washing, chess & cards, light fixtures.

counting the graces 

thank you Father for

none of these friendships would be if not for your design

slippers

hotel soft pillow and hotel hot shower

snuggle reading book with son under antique white comforter

one interrupted hour to study Chinese

lots of friends, from the most unexpected places