Crossed all the fair designs I schemed

I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith and love and every grace
Might more of His salvation know
And seek more earnestly His face

Twas He who taught me thus to pray
And He I trust has answered prayer
But it has been in such a way
As almost drove me to despair


I hoped that in some favored hour
At once He'd answer my request
And by His love's constraining power
Subdue my sins and give me rest

Instead of this He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart
And let the angry powers of Hell
Assault my soul in every part


Yea more with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Cast out my feelings, laid me low


Lord why is this, I trembling cried
Wilt Thou pursue thy worm to death?
"Tis in this way" The Lord replied
"I answer prayer for grace and faith"

"These inward trials I employ
From self and pride to set thee free
And break thy schemes of earthly joy
That thou may seek thy all in me,
That thou may seek thy all in me."


["I Asked the Lord That I Might Grow" John Newton, 1779; alt. Laura Taylor.]

counting the graces

thank you Father for

Jonathon's steady improvement chewing, now eating soft rice porridge, and his preschool teachers who are earnestly helping him to progress

sweet and sad goodbye to Liao Sha & Amos, an evening of the best company and the best Italian wine

we love to watch our kids growing up, inventing, working together, helping, doing many tasks independently

because of You, I am helped when all is too overwhelming, I know these tasks masquerading as critical are nothings against what matters in life

spinach salmon quiche on our dinner table, sunflower and pumpkin seeds on the salad