What would you guess is being advertised?

Sometimes these ads appear on bus stop billboards.

Or on the backs of every seat on the bus.

If you couldn't read it, what would you guess is being advertised?

3 Minutes, Painless

Resolve Unwanted Pregnancy

Abortion is presented as a relaxing spa massage rather than what it is -- killing a small baby.

Smiling sweetly? And little pink hearts?

Every time I see these my sense of justice is ticked off. Ending the life of your child is not a spa experience. 

I really feel for Chinese women. Enforcement and observance of the one-child only policy is responsible for the killing of many children, even children conceived inside marriage but at the wrong time or in the wrong quantity. Intense cultural shame and socio-economic constraints mean zero chance of birth for a baby conceived outside of marriage. The acceptance and availability of abortion plus a tradition of infanticide has given rise to a cavalier attitude towards terminating a pregnancy. I know tons of women who have had an abortion or two. A younger friend has asked me for abortion money. A neighbor friend was seriously considering aborting her second-trimester baby when the doctors suspected the baby might not be "strong" -- she kept him, he's now two months old and perfect. 

I can't count how many times I've had this conversation with other mothers or grandmothers, usually while standing outside the preschool gates waiting to pick up our children:

mama: Why don't you have another baby, a daughter?

me: Well, I'm done giving birth. Besides, what if it's another boy? 

mama: Simple. Just have an abortion, hahaha!

Then I gently explain my perspective, with compassionate sensitivity to the fact that the woman with whom I am speaking has almost certainly undergone an abortion in her lifetime -- not at all because she is a bad mama but because of her cultural and political context. But I never compromise on sharing the message that abortion is killing one's child. It just is. It's not good for mamas, it's not good for women, it's not good for children, it's not good for families, it's not good for whole societies. 

My voice. I'm not expecting to change the predominant view of an entire civilization, but I hope that for those mamas with whom I speak their minds may begin to be expanded -- freed -- to consider all life as sacred.

counting the graces

thank you Father for

rain sounds and darkness

days together with my kids -- reading, learning, walking around, cooking, eating, praying, sharing ideas, working through conflict

fridge full of fresh vegetables and looking forward to eating all of them

sense of being exactly where you want me on the globe

insight and clarity forming from re-reading Transforming Discipleship

fridge fixed itself and so did the internet

shower's broken but bucket baths are fine in summer

routine

29 and Lookin Fine

Drewbs.

You rock my world.

That's all I'm going to say on the interwang because well, 

the joy of intimacy is that it's a secret. Just between you and me... ;)

Happy birthday today in Portland!!!

Come home!

Love,

Rach

You are so HOT!

Speaking of running, Peter and Stephen for good measure.

counting the graces

thank you Father for

unexpected openness and true friendship with S&S

boys reporting that they had fun at school

experiential learning and lots of growth in the area of discipleship triads

truth sinking way deep in my soul: for my pardon this my plea/for my cleansing this I see, nothing but the blood of Jesus

with L, casting vision for the future and dreaming

pictures of Mom, Dad, Mary & Ethan on canoe camping trip

avocado

growth, peace, your nearness this June

Aslan

Uncontrollable.
Unpredictable.
Absolutely cannot be manipulated.

Completely trustworthy and infallibly good, as nothing else and no one else is.

  

don't stop your crying on my account
a frightening lion, no doubt
He's not safe, no he's not safe
are you tempted now to run away?
the king above all kings is coming down

but He won't say the words you wish that He would
He don't do the deeds you know that He could
He won't think the thoughts you think that He should
But He is good, He is good

I know you're thirsty, the water is free
But I should warn you, it costs everything

well He's not fair, no He's not fair
when He fixes what's beyond repair
and graces everyone that don't deserve

no one knows Him whom eyes never seen
no, I don't know Him but He knows me
He knows me, He knows me

lay down your layers, shed off your skin
but without His incision, you can't enter in
He cuts deep, yeah He cuts deep
when the risk is great and the talk is cheap
but never leaves a wounded one behind

You Did It My Girl

This week.

Wheeew.

Thank you for all your words of care and understanding.

Monday. With carefully packed bags, we brought Jonathon to meet his parents and two of his four siblings. It was perfect, really, could not have gone any better. Jonathon was happy, comfortable and confident. His Mom, Dad and sibs gently engaged him in play. He sensed their warmth and gentleness. I was blessed to be there.

You know? It wasn't too hard or emotional. At the forefront, thankfulness for everything -- Jon's life, his journey, his unique personality, his family's kindness and sensitivity toward him and all of us, our time with him, how the first meeting went, his future realized. One thousand gifts in that hour.

Went home, Mom and just two kids. At peace but missing Jon's songs, squeals, snuggles. Mike asking, "When are we gonna go get Jon?" replies Titus, "He's not coming back here, he's staying with his new family." Empty place at the table, empty bed, empty toothbrush holder. Giving away his tricycle, rainboots, winter mittens. But you know? It felt pretty alright this week. The transition was as smooth for Jon as it was for the three of us, and it was comforting knowing Jon was truly happy with his family. Titus, Mike & I connected in a way that hasn't been for three years. Did you notice our family picture on the upper right sidebar? That's the most recent one we have without Jonathon, summer 2011.

These days I've felt a sense of completion, even relief. I did it. Entrusted with this child, to care for him as my own, and I did. I feel a personal connection with God and in my spirit sense his big, strong, gentle, knowing arms around, "You did it my girl. You did it. Rest now."

Friday. Jonathon's family offered a gracious gift -- to meet them this morning for breakfast at their hotel. That's his Mom in the photo with me. Oh I am in awe and grateful that Jon is with this family, this particular family. But while Monday was smooth, Friday was tremendously difficult because today my son was no longer my son, and I saw it. Felt it. Grief is deep.

Everything is all way to raw to try to write more now even though there's like a bajillion more things to say. Here's what you should know: Jonathon is so well. Jonathon's family is good to him and all of us. Titus and Mike are well too. I'm well, tattered emotionally, bursting into tears. This is grieving and rejoicing at the same time -- comforted still in those big, strong, gentle, knowing arms.

I also have to point out that God is just relentless, seriously isn't he?! Relentless in his efforts to grow us up in faith and character by doing hard things like walking through this week without Drew by my side (traveling for work). God's relentlessness I recognize for what it is: true love.


Well, thank you for all your extra encouragement this week, and goodnight.

counting the graces

thank you Father for

you know.

Immeasurably More Than We Can Ask Or Imagine

You might not have heard the BEST news!

We've been asking everyone to pray that Jonathon will feel safe through the potentially traumatic transition from our hands, to semi-familiar Butterfly Children's Hospice staff, to strangers of the state welfare institute, and finally to his new parent's embrace. That is how it was slated to go. That is policy. 

Just this morning I was given special permission, an exception to policy, by the top of the state welfare institute to personally bring Jonathon to his parents' arms on Monday morning! By a string of personal connections, earning respect these years, and great favor, policy is being broken in Jonathon's best interests!

Who would have imagined that God would arrange it this way, and do far more than we knew to ask. Jonathon's whole story has been one of favor. Today my grief of losing Jonathon is completely engulfed in elation, that we could bring Jon right to his Mommy & Daddy's arms!
9:00PM US Central Time: Titus, Mike and I present Jonathon to his forever family. It'll be Monday morning here, the first day of the rest of Jonathon's life, a life that I am sure will be overflowing with nurture and true love in his new family.

***This is an excerpt from our email newsletter sent earlier this week. We write these once in a blue moon. If you would like to receive them please let me know.

counting the graces

thank you Father for

whole day away with two dear Mom friends, our broods playing together, green grass, fish pond and air conditioning

a walk, alone

freedom from feeling responsible/guilty for loved ones' bad choices

parable of the sower

closure-giving process of packing and preparing Jon and creating photo album

three boys in silly, uncontrollable laughter at the dinner table

kids give two thumbs up to the movie Charlotte's Web
 run, to burn off stress and grief

with Uncle Jared: french toast breakfast, storybooks, Jon riding on his shoulders, sandbox, a playful morning

encouragement, understanding and words of experiential wisdom from Jen, Mom & Dad

bathing Jon one last time

Donut Lifehack For Summer Lessons

Drew said goodbye to Jonathon yesterday morning.

It hurt.

Still at peace.

Drew has arrived safely in Portland.

Back in Changsha, the kids and I had a fantastic Tuesday!

(Drew is earning money; we are spending it...thank you so much Drewy.)

I picked them up from school in the afternoon, packing along homeschool lessons.

 City bus #905 delivered us directly to Daylight Donuts for the boys' favorite treat.

This boy is passionate about donuts.

Passionate and focused.

Passion and focus for donuts carried over to...

Interest and contentedness for lessons. We'll take it.

Summer lessons in the quiet, air-conditioned, non-distracting (and sweet-tasting) environment of the donut shop was an epiphany for this mother-teacher! I have visions of weekly trips to motivate, reward, and bring enthusiasm to my kids' study.

Lifehack.

Homeschool style.

Yesterday I was struck by how much I enjoy hanging out with my children.

They are fun to talk with, witty, and imaginative. I love listening to their ideas and perspectives.

My little buds!

counting the graces

thank you Father for

through the sunporch window, neighbor's baby sleeping in a bassinet on their sunporch

shopping for vegetables

"I Am A Good Eater" laminated custom book for Jonathon

kids who are good walkers

feeling unshaken and unafraid to be without Drew for a couple weeks

E getting to see so many friends and family

dawn, cool and quiet, awaking the day

Last Day As Family of Five; Tomorrow We're Four

The time is here.

Jonathon's adoptive parents are coming to bring him home to the US in just a few days.
It is good and wonderful and happy, but it is sad too.

Today was our last day as a family of five. Drew leaves for a 2-week business trip to Portland tomorrow morning. Drew and Jonathon will say their goodbyes at breakfast. In a few days I will take Jonathon to the state welfare institute orphanage, say goodbye, then he will be taken to meet his Mommy & Daddy.

It feels like grieving and rejoicing at the same time.

More than anything, we want to cover Jonathon in prayer that he will feel safe and loved as he changes hands. We are confident that he will immediately recognize and be comforted by the sensitive nurture of his new family.

How to mark our last day? It was a holiday, Dragon Boat Festival, Drew was home. We rode bikes to the lotus pond pagoda for a hot dog grill-out! By grill I mean tiny camp stove that looks just like a bunson burner. By hot dog I mean Taiwanese sausage. And it was perfect. Boys found blue bird egg shells, an abandoned fishing pole and a dead fish. They threw bricks in the water. In the evening we played basketball together at the university hoops and tested the playground at Titus & Michael's future elementary school. Really, it could not have been a better day together.

There is nothing left undone. Three years of fully embracing Jonathon, and now releasing him into safe arms and a beautiful life ahead.

counting the graces

thank you Father for

when Drew and I have the same sense of humor, and probably no one else would get the joke

Titus' bold, colorful, creative pictures drawn at preschool

all our needs met so perfectly -- job, home, schools, food, friends, fellowship

trudging home exhausted at noon, and the neighbors say, "come in here all of you, eat lunch at our house right now!"

Jonathon volunteering his sweet prayer at supper time

all the wonders you have done these three years! uncountable

cold showers before bed, it's hot, and air conditioning in the living room

a hug from Leslie