High School Lovers Beware

          

One year ago today Jon became ours. I keep thinking about his birth family. They let him go the week before his first birthday, just short of one year.

(Studying the above pictures, you might be led to believe that Jon enjoys his Mommy. I think that's correct, but more so, Jon's special love is his Daddy. Sustaining owies, awaking from nap, the first word off his lips, "Daaaddy!")

2004

Five years ago today this boy and this girl got married. 

(FINALLY we've been married longer than we dated. That's what you get when you start to date your mate at age seventeen. Four years and two months of courtship. High school lovers beware: this is wild fun but also agonizing wait.) 

counting the graces

thank you Father for

laughter on mountain hike with friends and kids this morning

wind blowing old wooden windows creaky

green tea

Life in 38

I came that they may have life, abundant life.
-John 10:10b

hi rat

big sisters are especially good for reading Chinese Thomas the Train books

first successful consumption of non-pureed banana!
biting, chewing, swallowing, the works. he was so proud of himself.

below: walking the dogs

bless that they'll be best friends now and when they're grown

roommates, law undergrads

new metal (read: indestructible) trucks from waigong & waipo

she babysat mike when he was a tiny baby

he would do fine crossing over a rushing river via cable line

mike loves holding babies, kissing babies, lying down beside babies, talking about his babies.
this is one of his special babes, a little fella named luke who lives at the butterfly home.

in our neighborhood a giant tree fell down on two cars. ouch.

one tree removal truck. three awestruck boys.

here we go on our nearly SIX-hour date, whoohoo! never in previous four anniversaries or ever in marriage have we been away from children for so long! hiked misty mountain, then bookstore and urban cafe. plus model shots. 

funeral in our neighborhood, sounds like 48-hour amplified 4th of July fireworks show

more photos of Titus' birthday at school -- the guy in orange is their P.E. teacher

beloved Mama Zeng, Titus' teacher for all three years of preschool

Abundant life in 38 pictures from September.

counting the graces 

thank you Father for

in every season, hand-me-down clothes for our boys
handmade snack from neighbor granny

music of Tim Coons

crunchy apples

wallet picked off Drew on the bus -- may the cash meet a need

kids who went to bed nicely and without protest tonight

hot running water in shower

I make music now, apparently

Follow this link for lyrics and free download at my little site.


I've played the guitar since, like, 3rd grade. This gave me some cool-points throughout junior high and high school (Lord knows I was running a cool-points deficit, this carried me up to apx. 0).

Back in high school I had a great friend and muse named Beth Homa, who still lives today, and as awkward tenth-graders we even recorded some of our noise in guitar teacher's basement. She and I played at living room, birthday party, coffeehouse, county fair pewee stage, tourist-town street corner and community college. Aw, fun! We were such losers. (I will love you forever B.H.)

College... mediocre travelling worship band... dorm worship... yada yada... Changsha... some chances to bring the music for fellowship here... blah blah.
Ruts.
Nerves.
Uptight.
Fears.
Insecurities.
Not sensing encouraging vibes from little community, leading to general lack of good feeling about playing guitar and such. Guitar mostly in the case.


After all this feeling of being a dead seed rotting in the proverbial music-creativity dirt, something bloomed vibrant late this spring.


Sincere encouragement and appreciation, especially from two guy friends here, must have been the fertilizer in this analogy. They turned me.
I began to believe that, although I'm an unskilled, unlearned musician (it's kind of pathetic really, I've been working on this since 3rd grade)...despite imperfection, I can create music.
I have a song.
Or fourteen.
And this is the first one that I got a chance to record at our friend's house.
It only cost me a pot of chicken wild rice soup.
Friend added drums, electric guitar, bass, mixed it. Now that's a good pal.
(Digression: see how we might steer someone depending on our action of fostering or depreciating his/her abilities?)

Anyway, I hope you dig my music. It's so imperfect guys. The voice running out of air and quivering, the acoustic guitar missing a beat. But it's really a great creative outlet for me, and these days I am lovin connecting with my creator and his word through music.


Tomorrow afternoon Drew and I are going on a date of unprecedented length, SIX hours.
This, to commemorate our 5th wedding anniversary.
hallelu!

counting the graces

thank you Father for

trapped #2 rat last night (another one bites the dust!)

slow cooker for wedding anniversary gift -- hello rehydrated beans

my mom smiling on skype

first Friday night at home in several months

rainstorm, Drew gets so happy

kids' paper and glue collages

These Are My People; and Things I would say to Jonathon's birth mother

Jon's been with us for one year this month. 

We could summarized his entire year with the word BRAVERY, on Jon's part.

Our part? Overcoming ignorance and selfishness to become the nurturing parents he deserves.

Jon has learned many things - walking, eating from a spoon, painting, swimming, English. His (and our) greatest accomplishment this year has certainly been bonding. When Jon first came to us he was not attached to any particular person, and indiscriminately affectionate. Now he knows, these are my people.

Drew and I have learned many things, deep things, and too many to write. I thought I could design and create my little family basically however I wanted it. Now I see that God has a more magnificent idea for Drew+Rachel+kids (terrified of the uncertainty, but glad). I felt that I was a reasonably selfless mother, until I had a child who did not reciprocate exclusive affections, and I had no sweet rewards to fuel a mother's labor of love. 

So Jon, Drew and I have grown in tandem. None of us are the same as last September.

Jonathon's adoptive status is still in the initial stages. He recently had an evaluation and we were asked to submit photos so he may be listed. Our original intent and expectation has always been that we are fostering Jonathon until another family adopts him. There remains a slim possibility that in four years, when I'm 30 years old and legally old enough to adopt a Chinese child, Jonathon could become our kiddo for life. The thought is intimidating, raising a special needs child in a society without special education, and no support or programs for special needs adults. But we take one calm step of obedience at a time; see what God has planned.

I just finished reading a book of stories from Chinese mothers who killed or abandoned their babies, compelled by the combined pressures of ancient cultural traditions, poverty, religious superstition, government population policies and the state of the current social welfare system. 

My heart bleeds for Jonathon's birth mother. She bore a gorgeous boy with round, searching eyes, a buoyant spirit and a magnanimous grin. He got sick. The doctor said nothing could be done, and the week before his first birthday, Jonathon's mother let him go. Sadly, in this culture, there is no medical care for those who cannot pay, no hospice support for dying children, and superstitious stigma against untimely death. When children are dying and need their Mommies & Daddies most, they are abandoned to the orphanage. 

Jonathon's mother perhaps lives in Changsha still, believing that the doctor's prognosis was realized; beleving that her son died. And for shame she cannot talk about or memorialize her baby in any tangible way. He is a secret now; all the memories and pain are locked inside. I wonder if she kept any of his clothes, his picture? I wonder if she had another baby?

Did she carry any hope that maybe, if Jonathon was left to the orphanage, he could receive treatment that they could not afford? Because that is exactly what happened! Your beauty, with his round deep eyes, buoyant spirit and magnanimous grin lives! 

I wish I could tell Jonathon's birth mother 

he is alive, beautiful, happy

and 

I love him like my own and I'm doing my best for him, to honor you

and 

you gave him life twice -- first, bringing him into the world, then, you saved his life by letting him go to the orphanage -- he will know that you did this for him

counting the graces

thank you Father for

that grin

the way he says, "why, why?" and, "Mommy! Daddy!" and, "shoes on!"

all the lessons of this year leading to growth

one life, saved, now tangled up in ours

Big Son, Four Years Old

Thursday morning Titus stayed home from school for playgroup-party at our house, with lots of little friends including a couple new babies, and birthday cake for three September birthdays! 

 

On Friday, birth-day, Titus went to school all day and brought homemade carrot cupcakes. Apparently, huge hit among teacher and classmates. I was gone that evening for my usual b-study, but Drew made birth-day night special with gummy worms and balloon volleyball. Titus kept saying, "We're having fun Dad!"

Saturday morning we hung out with people we love on skype and opened gifts -- books! Titus loves books! Then we all went outside to romp around in autumn sun and breeze. Drew's out facilitating two study groups today, but we'll reunite for a restaurant supper later tonight.

We gave Titus that blue table and chairs for his birthday gift. A table is exactly what every four year-old boy wants for his birthday, you know? ;) All the guys are ecstatic about their own special-sized activity center.

To characterize Titus.

Social and cheery, gentle as far as little boys go.
Likes to have many friends, often talks about his buddies.
Consistent favorite is a girl classmate named Duo-duo.
Devours book after book.
Quirky hobby is tying up all sorts of objects and creating webs of string and ribbon across rooms.
Kind-of mostly knows his alphabet and kind-of mostly can count to twenty.
Sings, silly, happy.
Can walk forever. We hike up and down that mountain, grown-ups panting and he keeps up.
Eats little at turtle-speed, but likes every kind of vegetable on God's green earth, especially leafy greens (the other night he told me the eggplant was "really, really good!")
Speaks emphatically, flying hand gestures.
Can be selfish, sometimes reticent to share, unwilling to empathize, ungrateful, disobedient, I think typical of the human child.


This morning while we were walking on the mountainside Titus said matter-of-factly, "Everyone says me (sic) is a waiguoren (foreigner)." We talk about this often, processing identity as the only non-Chinese in his school. "Yup, you are a foreigner. You're not Chinese," we replied.

He declared thoughtfully, "But, I am Chinese."

counting the graces

thank you Father for

new book that's impossible to put down

wrapped in a blanket with michael on the couch, nibbling banana, midnight

prostitute friend, waiting, so excited to show new clothes she bought for her little daughter

toast

baby smiling at first-birthday candle